2003
Season's Beatings
November 19, 2003 10:49 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
It's getting near to the end of the year, and it seems like everyone's dying to make this list. Maybe it's the holiday rush.
In the last week, three new celebs joined the line for the "Meet & Greet With St. Pete."
Herewith, the departed.
Art Carney: beloved comic and sidekick to Rosie O'Donnell . . . er, Jackie Gleason (We thought that was Jackie who lost the battle with his publisher last week. It's easy to get confused).
Tony Thompson: beloved drummer, member of Chic, temporary member of Led Zeppelin
Larry Tisch: not-so-beloved billionaire mogul, who owned both Loew's theaters and CBS, responsible for selling CBS Records to Sony (to his credit, though, he did rebuild the Central Park Zoo).
RIP, y'all.
It's getting near to the end of the year, and it seems like everyone's dying to make this list. Maybe it's the holiday rush.
In the last week, three new celebs joined the line for the "Meet & Greet With St. Pete."
Herewith, the departed.
Art Carney: beloved comic and sidekick to Rosie O'Donnell . . . er, Jackie Gleason (We thought that was Jackie who lost the battle with his publisher last week. It's easy to get confused).
Tony Thompson: beloved drummer, member of Chic, temporary member of Led Zeppelin
Larry Tisch: not-so-beloved billionaire mogul, who owned both Loew's theaters and CBS, responsible for selling CBS Records to Sony (to his credit, though, he did rebuild the Central Park Zoo).
RIP, y'all.
Happy Haunting Grounds
October 28, 2003 12:48 AM
Dear CDT Reader,
Well, it's haunting season. And no self-respecting late October week would be complete without a Celebrity Death Trio.
Last week's group was perhaps one of the most unusual yet. All were famous in their own right, but not universally famous. They were the kind of people that made you say "Oh, yeah. NOW I know who that is." In the end, they were almost like stealth celebrities.
So here's the current list of entertainers now appearing tonight--and every night--at the Pearly Gates Bar & Grille. Sleep that easy sleep, and don't forget to tip your waitresses.
Herewith, the deaprted.
Fred "Rerun" Berry: this What's Happening! actor's name appeared so often as Fred "Rerun" Berry that it seemed as if he'd been named Rerun at birth.
Elliott Smith: Oscar-nominated songster from the late-90s known for his brooding tunes and the soundtrack to Good Will Hunting. Allegedly committed suicide by stabbing himself in the chest--which must have been an Oscar-worthy performance in and of itself.
Jack Elam: fantastic and fantastically grizzled character actor with the bulging and wandering eye, star of Westerns almost since they were invented.
RIP, one and all.
Well, it's haunting season. And no self-respecting late October week would be complete without a Celebrity Death Trio.
Last week's group was perhaps one of the most unusual yet. All were famous in their own right, but not universally famous. They were the kind of people that made you say "Oh, yeah. NOW I know who that is." In the end, they were almost like stealth celebrities.
So here's the current list of entertainers now appearing tonight--and every night--at the Pearly Gates Bar & Grille. Sleep that easy sleep, and don't forget to tip your waitresses.
Herewith, the deaprted.
Fred "Rerun" Berry: this What's Happening! actor's name appeared so often as Fred "Rerun" Berry that it seemed as if he'd been named Rerun at birth.
Elliott Smith: Oscar-nominated songster from the late-90s known for his brooding tunes and the soundtrack to Good Will Hunting. Allegedly committed suicide by stabbing himself in the chest--which must have been an Oscar-worthy performance in and of itself.
Jack Elam: fantastic and fantastically grizzled character actor with the bulging and wandering eye, star of Westerns almost since they were invented.
RIP, one and all.
Another Double Trio!?!?
September 29, 2003 08:47 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
You're not going to believe this but . . .
For the second time in a row we have a Celebrity Double Trio. It's like winning the trifecta--twice--at the Kentucky Death Derby.
We know, it's hard to imagine--it's either something in the drinking water, or there really are Weapons Of Mass Celebrity Destruction. But two sets of trios . . . in less than a month? This kind of thing doesn't happen very often, unless you're the occasional rock band chartering a jet from Jethro's Screen Door and Flying Transport Service.
So here is the first group to be lined up this week at "St. Peter's All You Can Stand Buffet:"
Gordon Jump: character actor who played Mr. Carlson on WKRP, and the Maytag Repairman
Robert Palmer: rock singer whose video to Addicted To Love changed MTV forever (your choice as to whether that was good or bad)
George Plimpton: author of numerous books, stalwart of participatory journalism, and lockjawed blue-blood Easterner
The second seating at the buffet includes:
Donald O'Connor: Legendary hoofer (Singin' In The Rain) and co-star of Francis The Talking Mule
Elia Kazan: either one of the greatest directors of all time (On The Waterfront, Streetcar) or a com-symp.
Althea Gibson: first black player to win Wimbledon. The Williams sisters ought to be paying for her funeral.
RIP, one and all.
PS. Thanks for all the input and the regular updates. The emails were flying this week, and we're glad--and perhaps a little mortified--that a lot of you were checking the wire services with such regularity.
You're not going to believe this but . . .
For the second time in a row we have a Celebrity Double Trio. It's like winning the trifecta--twice--at the Kentucky Death Derby.
We know, it's hard to imagine--it's either something in the drinking water, or there really are Weapons Of Mass Celebrity Destruction. But two sets of trios . . . in less than a month? This kind of thing doesn't happen very often, unless you're the occasional rock band chartering a jet from Jethro's Screen Door and Flying Transport Service.
So here is the first group to be lined up this week at "St. Peter's All You Can Stand Buffet:"
Gordon Jump: character actor who played Mr. Carlson on WKRP, and the Maytag Repairman
Robert Palmer: rock singer whose video to Addicted To Love changed MTV forever (your choice as to whether that was good or bad)
George Plimpton: author of numerous books, stalwart of participatory journalism, and lockjawed blue-blood Easterner
The second seating at the buffet includes:
Donald O'Connor: Legendary hoofer (Singin' In The Rain) and co-star of Francis The Talking Mule
Elia Kazan: either one of the greatest directors of all time (On The Waterfront, Streetcar) or a com-symp.
Althea Gibson: first black player to win Wimbledon. The Williams sisters ought to be paying for her funeral.
RIP, one and all.
PS. Thanks for all the input and the regular updates. The emails were flying this week, and we're glad--and perhaps a little mortified--that a lot of you were checking the wire services with such regularity.
Double Trio!
September 12, 2003 04:46 AM
Dear CDT Reader,
Well, Celebrity Death Fans--this doesn't happen very often . . .
We have not one, but two--yes, count them TWO--sets of terminal triplets from the world of celebrity joining the ranks of the heavenly choir this week. This proves our point that not only do celebrities die in threes, they also die in multiples of three.
Here is the first group that stepped on to the eternal escalator:
Leni Riefenstahl - Inventive film maker (and, in a bad career move, Hitler's documentarian). She was 101.
Larry Hovis - The actor who played Carter, the demolitions expert, on Hogan's Heroes. He may not have had the lead on the show, but he died with more dignity than Bob "Hogan" Crane.
Edward Teller - Father of the H bomb. Draw your own conclusions.
(Interestingly, this first group all gained fame thanks to World War II).
The second group who won tickets to see "Late Night With St. Peter:"
Johnny Cash - The original man in black. Here's hoping he's not experiencing the real "Ring Of Fire."
John Ritter - Actor. Say what you will about "Three's Company," but the guy was great in Sling Blade.
Warren Kremer - Cartoonist. Not a household name, but a celeb in his own right. He came up with Casper the Friendly Ghost and Richie Rich. He also created that baby devil with horns and pitchfork (in red) that is tattooed on the ass of nearly every biker chick in the U.S.
This has been a tough week for celebrities, and real people, too. We only wish we could have added Osama Bin Laden to the list this week.
RIP, one and all.
Well, Celebrity Death Fans--this doesn't happen very often . . .
We have not one, but two--yes, count them TWO--sets of terminal triplets from the world of celebrity joining the ranks of the heavenly choir this week. This proves our point that not only do celebrities die in threes, they also die in multiples of three.
Here is the first group that stepped on to the eternal escalator:
Leni Riefenstahl - Inventive film maker (and, in a bad career move, Hitler's documentarian). She was 101.
Larry Hovis - The actor who played Carter, the demolitions expert, on Hogan's Heroes. He may not have had the lead on the show, but he died with more dignity than Bob "Hogan" Crane.
Edward Teller - Father of the H bomb. Draw your own conclusions.
(Interestingly, this first group all gained fame thanks to World War II).
The second group who won tickets to see "Late Night With St. Peter:"
Johnny Cash - The original man in black. Here's hoping he's not experiencing the real "Ring Of Fire."
John Ritter - Actor. Say what you will about "Three's Company," but the guy was great in Sling Blade.
Warren Kremer - Cartoonist. Not a household name, but a celeb in his own right. He came up with Casper the Friendly Ghost and Richie Rich. He also created that baby devil with horns and pitchfork (in red) that is tattooed on the ass of nearly every biker chick in the U.S.
This has been a tough week for celebrities, and real people, too. We only wish we could have added Osama Bin Laden to the list this week.
RIP, one and all.
Death Wish List
September 08, 2003 11:44 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
Couldn't start out the first week of September without a down-to-the-wire race from three deceased celebrities. From September 1 to September 8th, three new celebs cashed in their chips at the Coffin Casino.
Herewith, the departed.
Charles Bronson - cool actor who probably didn't have a real "Death Wish"
Warren Zevon - great songwriter whose "best of" collection was named--honestly-- "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead"
Paul Hill - former minister who killed an abortion clinic doctor; he was this week's most celebrated execution
RIP, one and all. Except for Paul Hill. Let's hope he's the main course at the "Hades Barbecue."
Couldn't start out the first week of September without a down-to-the-wire race from three deceased celebrities. From September 1 to September 8th, three new celebs cashed in their chips at the Coffin Casino.
Herewith, the departed.
Charles Bronson - cool actor who probably didn't have a real "Death Wish"
Warren Zevon - great songwriter whose "best of" collection was named--honestly-- "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead"
Paul Hill - former minister who killed an abortion clinic doctor; he was this week's most celebrated execution
RIP, one and all. Except for Paul Hill. Let's hope he's the main course at the "Hades Barbecue."
Dark Days
August 18, 2003 01:11 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
Wow. For such a long hot--and in some cases, dark--summer, celebrities manage to keep making news. Granted, we're talking about the obituary sections. This past week was no different, and we're not even adding Ben and Jen's soon-to-be-pushing up daisies romance.
Three famous people who booked a reservation at the Chateau Eternity last week. And the way things are going, we're sure to have another celebrity triad in the next couple of weeks. More then. Enjoy the last days of summer . . .
Herewith, the departed.
Idi Amin: poster boy for ill-tempered dictators and torturers
Herb Brooks: coach of the gold winning "miracle" US hockey team in 1980
Gregory Hines: actor, dancer (check out "White Knights")
RIP, one and all.
Wow. For such a long hot--and in some cases, dark--summer, celebrities manage to keep making news. Granted, we're talking about the obituary sections. This past week was no different, and we're not even adding Ben and Jen's soon-to-be-pushing up daisies romance.
Three famous people who booked a reservation at the Chateau Eternity last week. And the way things are going, we're sure to have another celebrity triad in the next couple of weeks. More then. Enjoy the last days of summer . . .
Herewith, the departed.
Idi Amin: poster boy for ill-tempered dictators and torturers
Herb Brooks: coach of the gold winning "miracle" US hockey team in 1980
Gregory Hines: actor, dancer (check out "White Knights")
RIP, one and all.
Interred Industry Icons Interred Industry Icons
July 20, 2003 03:42 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
Jeez, what a summer. Every week it seems we get a full triad of celebrities who are lining up to go tailgating with Jesus.
Herewith, the departed.
Bob Hope - Long-awaited member of the CDT. No introduction needed.
Sam Phillips - the recording industry legend who discovered Elvis and launched Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison, Carl Perkins, and Jerry Lee Lewis.
John Schlesinger - director of films such as Midnight Cowboy, Marathon Man, Falcon & The Snowman, et al
FYI, even though she's not a household name (so not quite a celebrity), Jane Barbe died. Everyone in America knows her: Jane's voice has been used since 1963 on nearly every public and private telephone network system in the US for messages, information, and misplaced calls. "The number you have dialed . . . is not in service." That was Jane. Who, by the way, is no longer in service, either.
RIP, one and all.
Jeez, what a summer. Every week it seems we get a full triad of celebrities who are lining up to go tailgating with Jesus.
Herewith, the departed.
Bob Hope - Long-awaited member of the CDT. No introduction needed.
Sam Phillips - the recording industry legend who discovered Elvis and launched Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison, Carl Perkins, and Jerry Lee Lewis.
John Schlesinger - director of films such as Midnight Cowboy, Marathon Man, Falcon & The Snowman, et al
FYI, even though she's not a household name (so not quite a celebrity), Jane Barbe died. Everyone in America knows her: Jane's voice has been used since 1963 on nearly every public and private telephone network system in the US for messages, information, and misplaced calls. "The number you have dialed . . . is not in service." That was Jane. Who, by the way, is no longer in service, either.
RIP, one and all.
Beverly "Boot" Hillbilllies, Baby
July 14, 2003 11:41 AM
Dear CDT Reader,
Boy, a big run this summer for celebrity deaths. This past week we had
another three celebs sign up to cook for the Kennedys. Given the caliber of our dearly departed, we allowed a Saturday to Saturday
week (okay, it's a long week).
Herwith, the departed.
Barry White: R&B love commander
Buddy Ebsen: not a hillbilly in real life, but played one on TV
Benny Carter: jazz pioneer
There is some discrepancy about the hours of White's and Carter's deaths,
so it may or may not have fit the seven day timeframe as neatly as we like.
Still, close enough for government work.
RIP, one and all
Boy, a big run this summer for celebrity deaths. This past week we had
another three celebs sign up to cook for the Kennedys. Given the caliber of our dearly departed, we allowed a Saturday to Saturday
week (okay, it's a long week).
Herwith, the departed.
Barry White: R&B love commander
Buddy Ebsen: not a hillbilly in real life, but played one on TV
Benny Carter: jazz pioneer
There is some discrepancy about the hours of White's and Carter's deaths,
so it may or may not have fit the seven day timeframe as neatly as we like.
Still, close enough for government work.
RIP, one and all
Entertaining For Eternity
July 04, 2003 01:12 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
This week's "Celebrity Death Trio" is composed of artistes (you'll remember that last week was politicians). Quite the entertainment industry lineup, and now they're laid out in a straight line facing the sunset.
Herewith, the departed.
Katherine Hepburn - great actress, famed as a kept woman
Buddy Hackett - great comedian, famed for his squirrelly voice
Herbie Mann - great flautist, famed for fusing jazz and world music
Those of us at the CDT have got to believe that perennial CDT wannabees Bob Hope and Pope John Paul are breathing a little easier this week . . .
RIP, one and all.
This week's "Celebrity Death Trio" is composed of artistes (you'll remember that last week was politicians). Quite the entertainment industry lineup, and now they're laid out in a straight line facing the sunset.
Herewith, the departed.
Katherine Hepburn - great actress, famed as a kept woman
Buddy Hackett - great comedian, famed for his squirrelly voice
Herbie Mann - great flautist, famed for fusing jazz and world music
Those of us at the CDT have got to believe that perennial CDT wannabees Bob Hope and Pope John Paul are breathing a little easier this week . . .
RIP, one and all.
Old White Guys In Their Graves
June 23, 2003 08:38 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
Another big week for the "Celebrities Die In Threes" sociologists. This week, however, instead of the usual assortment of dead rock stars and entertainers, we get three dead politicians.
Herewith, the departed.
Strom Thurmond - hundred year-old congressional viagra joke
Denis Thatcher - invisible husband of parliamentary joke
Lester Maddox - poster boy and cross-burner for the KKK
Boy, those segregation guys sure lived long enough to see the world bite them in the ass, didn't they?
RIP, one and all.
Another big week for the "Celebrities Die In Threes" sociologists. This week, however, instead of the usual assortment of dead rock stars and entertainers, we get three dead politicians.
Herewith, the departed.
Strom Thurmond - hundred year-old congressional viagra joke
Denis Thatcher - invisible husband of parliamentary joke
Lester Maddox - poster boy and cross-burner for the KKK
Boy, those segregation guys sure lived long enough to see the world bite them in the ass, didn't they?
RIP, one and all.
Rich, Thin and Really Dead
April 21, 2003 08:36 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
Death to big names comes in threes, yet again . . . proving you can never be too old, too rich, too thin, or too jazzy. Maybe you can be too dead, but we doubt it.
Herewith, the departed.
Nina Simone (famous jazz singer, civil rights activist)
Robert Atkins (famous thin guy)
J Paul Getty, Jr (famous rich guy)
RIP, one and all.
Death to big names comes in threes, yet again . . . proving you can never be too old, too rich, too thin, or too jazzy. Maybe you can be too dead, but we doubt it.
Herewith, the departed.
Nina Simone (famous jazz singer, civil rights activist)
Robert Atkins (famous thin guy)
J Paul Getty, Jr (famous rich guy)
RIP, one and all.