2004
Hellacious Holidays
December 30, 2004 11:59 PM
Dear CDT Readers,
Wow. And again, wow. The Year 2004 went out like a lion on steroids, taking a certified double death triple with it.
We received more early warning alerts this week than U.S. intelligence agencies get in a year. You'd think that readers and fans were actually paying attention to who was dying--and who wasn't.
Well, the Reaper of all things Grim was certainly making hay while the sun shone, clearing a Path to Purgatory before the New Year arrives this weekend in diapers. Three musicians made up their own section of the list, as well as assorted U.S. celebs and a revered footballer. So, without further ado, let's sing Auld Lang Syne to the most recent group of people who are going to spend their holidays tailgating with Jesus.
Herewith, the departed.
Tailgating Group 1
Son Seals - modern Chicago blues guitarist credited with playing, and living, the blues in their purest and most electric form. Not only did he sing about his troubles with women, his own wife once shot him in the jaw.
Hank Garland - incredibly versatile guitarist who played with Elvis Presley, the Everly Brothers, Roy Orbison, Patsy Cline, and Charlie Parker. Introduced the electric guitar to the Grand Ole Opry.
Eddie Layton - organist for the Yankees and Madison Square Garden. While he was primarily famous in and around New York, everybody who's ever been to a pro sporting event knows his signature crowd-pleaser: "Da-da-dun da-DA! CHARGE!" (Great quote from Layton: "I played with 50,000 watts of power, what rock star has an amplifier like that? I play for up to 56,000 people a night. Not even Madonna has done those kind of numbers.")
Tailgating Group 2
Reggie White - NFL all-star, considered by many to be the best defensive lineman ever to play the game. When he retired he had the career record for sacks. Also an ordained minister.
Susan Sontag - social critic, "intellectual," and essayist. In our opinion, a person who was famous simply for being famous. Get real; is being an "intellectual" a job?
Jerry Orbach - great character actor, best known for his roll on TV's "Law & Order." But we liked him for the voice over as Lumiere, the candlestick in "Beauty & The Beast."
PS. We have to note Darrell Abbott, a nice guy who died earlier this month when he was shot onstage by a former fan. Well-known in the guitar community, Darrell has became more of a celebrity for the way in which he died than the music he made. It's too bad: celebrity should never be the cause of deat. Likewise, few people deserve to die because of fame (okay, Donald Trump is an exception).
RIP, one and all. And Happy New Year.
Wow. And again, wow. The Year 2004 went out like a lion on steroids, taking a certified double death triple with it.
We received more early warning alerts this week than U.S. intelligence agencies get in a year. You'd think that readers and fans were actually paying attention to who was dying--and who wasn't.
Well, the Reaper of all things Grim was certainly making hay while the sun shone, clearing a Path to Purgatory before the New Year arrives this weekend in diapers. Three musicians made up their own section of the list, as well as assorted U.S. celebs and a revered footballer. So, without further ado, let's sing Auld Lang Syne to the most recent group of people who are going to spend their holidays tailgating with Jesus.
Herewith, the departed.
Tailgating Group 1
Son Seals - modern Chicago blues guitarist credited with playing, and living, the blues in their purest and most electric form. Not only did he sing about his troubles with women, his own wife once shot him in the jaw.
Hank Garland - incredibly versatile guitarist who played with Elvis Presley, the Everly Brothers, Roy Orbison, Patsy Cline, and Charlie Parker. Introduced the electric guitar to the Grand Ole Opry.
Eddie Layton - organist for the Yankees and Madison Square Garden. While he was primarily famous in and around New York, everybody who's ever been to a pro sporting event knows his signature crowd-pleaser: "Da-da-dun da-DA! CHARGE!" (Great quote from Layton: "I played with 50,000 watts of power, what rock star has an amplifier like that? I play for up to 56,000 people a night. Not even Madonna has done those kind of numbers.")
Tailgating Group 2
Reggie White - NFL all-star, considered by many to be the best defensive lineman ever to play the game. When he retired he had the career record for sacks. Also an ordained minister.
Susan Sontag - social critic, "intellectual," and essayist. In our opinion, a person who was famous simply for being famous. Get real; is being an "intellectual" a job?
Jerry Orbach - great character actor, best known for his roll on TV's "Law & Order." But we liked him for the voice over as Lumiere, the candlestick in "Beauty & The Beast."
PS. We have to note Darrell Abbott, a nice guy who died earlier this month when he was shot onstage by a former fan. Well-known in the guitar community, Darrell has became more of a celebrity for the way in which he died than the music he made. It's too bad: celebrity should never be the cause of deat. Likewise, few people deserve to die because of fame (okay, Donald Trump is an exception).
RIP, one and all. And Happy New Year.
Thanks For Giving (Up)
November 30, 2004 01:24 PM
Dear CDT Readers,
You know, they say there is no rest for the wicked. And it must truly be the season of our discontent, because Mr. G. Reaper has been working overtime to add celebrities to his list of new best friends.
Many of you have written in wanting to know why we didn't report on the rash of celebrity triple-headers that occurred in mid-to-late November.
Well, the truth is that we refrained from sending the Celebrity Death Trio missives out over the Thanksgiving holidays because we felt they might cast a bit of a pall over the season. After all, each of us is thankful to be alive--and not checking into our own eternal version of the Roach Motel. Plus, we were busy getting ready for yams and stuffing. That took up a lot of our time. This thing doesn't write itself, you know.
That said, we did have a couple sets of celebrity trios who managed to get themselves a non-refundable ticket to the Heavenly Hotel. And since this is a recap, we'll keep it brief, and save our really incisive bits for more timely, or untimely, deaths. Thus, here is the wrap-up of those celebs who spent the holidays basting the formaldehyde turkey (and hey! no leftovers!).
Herewith, the departed.
Week One:
Yasser Arafat - Terrorist. Won't be missed. At all.
Margaret Hassan - International aid worker, killed by terrorists. If there's any fairness in the afterlife, she's sitting in an air-conditioned room while turning the spit upon which Arafat is roasting.
Harry Lampert - A cartoonist whose name is not nearly as well known as that of his celebrity creation: The Flash.
Week Two:
Arthur Hailey - Author of Airport, Wheels, Hotel and other novels that were made into TV movies and films. Not to be confused with Alex Haley, who wrote "Roots." Alex is already dead, so we don't want to rub it in.
Terry Melcher - son of Doris Day, record producer who helped define the California surf sound. Probably best known as the guy whose house Sharon Tate was staying at when Charles Manson dropped by for a nightcap.
Cy Coleman - Composer of Broadway musicals like ''Sweet Charity'' and pop standards such as "Witchcraft."
RIP, one and all.
You know, they say there is no rest for the wicked. And it must truly be the season of our discontent, because Mr. G. Reaper has been working overtime to add celebrities to his list of new best friends.
Many of you have written in wanting to know why we didn't report on the rash of celebrity triple-headers that occurred in mid-to-late November.
Well, the truth is that we refrained from sending the Celebrity Death Trio missives out over the Thanksgiving holidays because we felt they might cast a bit of a pall over the season. After all, each of us is thankful to be alive--and not checking into our own eternal version of the Roach Motel. Plus, we were busy getting ready for yams and stuffing. That took up a lot of our time. This thing doesn't write itself, you know.
That said, we did have a couple sets of celebrity trios who managed to get themselves a non-refundable ticket to the Heavenly Hotel. And since this is a recap, we'll keep it brief, and save our really incisive bits for more timely, or untimely, deaths. Thus, here is the wrap-up of those celebs who spent the holidays basting the formaldehyde turkey (and hey! no leftovers!).
Herewith, the departed.
Week One:
Yasser Arafat - Terrorist. Won't be missed. At all.
Margaret Hassan - International aid worker, killed by terrorists. If there's any fairness in the afterlife, she's sitting in an air-conditioned room while turning the spit upon which Arafat is roasting.
Harry Lampert - A cartoonist whose name is not nearly as well known as that of his celebrity creation: The Flash.
Week Two:
Arthur Hailey - Author of Airport, Wheels, Hotel and other novels that were made into TV movies and films. Not to be confused with Alex Haley, who wrote "Roots." Alex is already dead, so we don't want to rub it in.
Terry Melcher - son of Doris Day, record producer who helped define the California surf sound. Probably best known as the guy whose house Sharon Tate was staying at when Charles Manson dropped by for a nightcap.
Cy Coleman - Composer of Broadway musicals like ''Sweet Charity'' and pop standards such as "Witchcraft."
RIP, one and all.
Kryptonite Corpses
October 19, 2004 05:25 PM
Dear CDT Readers,
Last week, the Celebrity Death Trio HotLine (TM) was lighting up like a Chernobyl sunrise when actor Christopher Reeves and former Major Leaguer Ken Caminiti both took the proverbial plunge within minutes of each other. Some speculated that they had alerted each other to their impending demise(s), thereby getting a CDT week underway. But alas, the faithful and faithless alike were left hanging--as it were--until Pierre Salinger threw in the towel (or is that 'cashed in his chips'?) to make it a truly official week . . . three celebs in 7 days. Whew. It's taken us this long just to catch our breath. We're late, but in some things, like dying, later is better.
Nonetheless, the CDT itself continues to make up for lost time in record time, plowing through the nationally famous faster than Oprah Winfrey at an all-you-can-eat chocolate buffet. So, in time honored tradition, we salute those who most recently reserved a seat at the Kingdom Come Cafe'.
Herewith, the departed.
Christopher Reeves: actor and former horse lover who will live on forever as Superman. Well, not forever. But certainly on DVD.
Ken Caminiti: 1996 National League MVP who later admitted using steroids as performance enhancers. Died of a heart attack, possibly brought on by drug abuse. Is it just us, or is this happening to more and more pro athletes after their careers are over? Whatever happened to respectable postseason jobs like doing commercials for Mr. Coffee?
Pierre Salinger: press secretary for President Kennedy and later a correspondent for ABC News. His later years were spent in France, supporting Internet conspiracy theories and refusing to trim his eyebrows--perhaps in pursuit of a Guinness Book record for length.
RIP, one and all.
And go Yankees.
Last week, the Celebrity Death Trio HotLine (TM) was lighting up like a Chernobyl sunrise when actor Christopher Reeves and former Major Leaguer Ken Caminiti both took the proverbial plunge within minutes of each other. Some speculated that they had alerted each other to their impending demise(s), thereby getting a CDT week underway. But alas, the faithful and faithless alike were left hanging--as it were--until Pierre Salinger threw in the towel (or is that 'cashed in his chips'?) to make it a truly official week . . . three celebs in 7 days. Whew. It's taken us this long just to catch our breath. We're late, but in some things, like dying, later is better.
Nonetheless, the CDT itself continues to make up for lost time in record time, plowing through the nationally famous faster than Oprah Winfrey at an all-you-can-eat chocolate buffet. So, in time honored tradition, we salute those who most recently reserved a seat at the Kingdom Come Cafe'.
Herewith, the departed.
Christopher Reeves: actor and former horse lover who will live on forever as Superman. Well, not forever. But certainly on DVD.
Ken Caminiti: 1996 National League MVP who later admitted using steroids as performance enhancers. Died of a heart attack, possibly brought on by drug abuse. Is it just us, or is this happening to more and more pro athletes after their careers are over? Whatever happened to respectable postseason jobs like doing commercials for Mr. Coffee?
Pierre Salinger: press secretary for President Kennedy and later a correspondent for ABC News. His later years were spent in France, supporting Internet conspiracy theories and refusing to trim his eyebrows--perhaps in pursuit of a Guinness Book record for length.
RIP, one and all.
And go Yankees.
One Day Onslaught
October 06, 2004 10:23 AM
Dear CDT Members,
As they say, when it rains, it pours. While that usually applies to actual weather conditions, or Morton's Salt, it rarely applies to the deaths of those who appear on the cover of People Magazine.
Yet . . .
The Celebrity Death Trio has gone into overdrive this past month, as if God suddenly realized that He'd been slacking off early on in the year. It's like He's trying fill a quota, and He's sending out more invitations than Martha Stewart had for her Camp Cupcake sendoff. Only He doesn't take "no" for an RSVP.
The interesting fact this week--hell, this day--was that this trio happened within a day's time. Many of our loyal readers were sending in data as it happened, almost like watching the stock market (hmmm . . . there's an idea: a Celebrity Death Hedge Fund). And this time, every one of our permanent passings was a front-page star in a different arena--not like last week's fashion disaster. Each was quite the persona in their own right. So, without further ado, hail farewell to the three celebs who've chosen not to partake of Octoberfest this year, instead lining up for Mortuary Madness and serving as their own Halloween costumes.
Herewith, the departed.
Rodney Dangerfield: a comic's comic who garnered fame as both a standup and a film star. The guy who once said "I asked my parents if I could go ice skating on the pond, and they said, 'no, wait until the weather warms up" couldn't get no respect. But we give him all the respect he'll need by listing him as number #1 this week.
Gordon Cooper: one of the world's first astronauts, he flew both Mercury and Gemini missions and set an endurance record by traveling more than 3 million miles in one flight. He died on the same day as the first commercially built space craft made its third successful flight into space. But Gordon found his own way into space for his final flight, and he didn't need Paul Allen or Richard Branson to pony up a million bucks for it.
Janet Leigh: classic 60s actress, she was the woman in the shower in "Psycho." That should be enough for anybody, but the impressive Leigh had an impressive resume': she also starred in the classics "The Manchurian Candidate" and "Touch Of Evil," was married to Tony Curtis (that had to be a barrel of laughs), and was mother of Jamie Lee Curtis. So go rent one of her movies, and relive the legend--screams and all.
RIP, one and all.
As they say, when it rains, it pours. While that usually applies to actual weather conditions, or Morton's Salt, it rarely applies to the deaths of those who appear on the cover of People Magazine.
Yet . . .
The Celebrity Death Trio has gone into overdrive this past month, as if God suddenly realized that He'd been slacking off early on in the year. It's like He's trying fill a quota, and He's sending out more invitations than Martha Stewart had for her Camp Cupcake sendoff. Only He doesn't take "no" for an RSVP.
The interesting fact this week--hell, this day--was that this trio happened within a day's time. Many of our loyal readers were sending in data as it happened, almost like watching the stock market (hmmm . . . there's an idea: a Celebrity Death Hedge Fund). And this time, every one of our permanent passings was a front-page star in a different arena--not like last week's fashion disaster. Each was quite the persona in their own right. So, without further ado, hail farewell to the three celebs who've chosen not to partake of Octoberfest this year, instead lining up for Mortuary Madness and serving as their own Halloween costumes.
Herewith, the departed.
Rodney Dangerfield: a comic's comic who garnered fame as both a standup and a film star. The guy who once said "I asked my parents if I could go ice skating on the pond, and they said, 'no, wait until the weather warms up" couldn't get no respect. But we give him all the respect he'll need by listing him as number #1 this week.
Gordon Cooper: one of the world's first astronauts, he flew both Mercury and Gemini missions and set an endurance record by traveling more than 3 million miles in one flight. He died on the same day as the first commercially built space craft made its third successful flight into space. But Gordon found his own way into space for his final flight, and he didn't need Paul Allen or Richard Branson to pony up a million bucks for it.
Janet Leigh: classic 60s actress, she was the woman in the shower in "Psycho." That should be enough for anybody, but the impressive Leigh had an impressive resume': she also starred in the classics "The Manchurian Candidate" and "Touch Of Evil," was married to Tony Curtis (that had to be a barrel of laughs), and was mother of Jamie Lee Curtis. So go rent one of her movies, and relive the legend--screams and all.
RIP, one and all.
Six Sleeping Celebs Slabbed On A Slate
October 01, 2004 02:22 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
Wow. Another Celebrity Death Trio has just paid the toll on the Turnpike To Tomorrow. But this time it's a set of two--which in the mortuary business is technically known as an "exacta." Or maybe that's horse racing. Anyway, it's not a record, but certainly a milestone--as opposed to say, a tombstone. Six people in just over a week. It just doesn't happen that often.
We should note that it's been an especially difficult week for the fashion industry, as you'll see below. So light a candle, or perhaps throw together an evening ensemble with a sassy yet sensible scarf, for all those memorialized below, each of whom is now doing the eternal strut down the Creator's Catwalk.
Herewith, the departed.
Richard Avedon: photographer whose black and white shots redefined contemporary photography. Did everything from politics and fashionistas to rock stars and migrant farm workers. Whether you know it or not, you've seen his photos for most of your life.
Geoffrey Beene: Noted fashion designer who was uniquely American with a French flair. Not that we'd know, but we do have an old dress shirt designed by him.
Scott Muni: On-air personality famous for the last five decades as a major rock and roll DJ. Know as Scotto, he was one of the first to put the Beatles on the radio, and his show inspired "Dog Day Afternoon." You'd recognize his voice anywhere; he also did the "How do you spell relief" commercials for Rolaids.
Marvin Davis: Media mogul and oil bazillionaire who once owned 20th Century Fox, as well as Pebble Beach. Wonder if he took it with him . . .
Ed Haggar: The guy who made sans-a-belt pants a nationwide phenomenon. You all had Haggar slacks for your proms. Admit it. Special trivia note: for all you Notre Damers out there, and there are more here than I'd like to admit, Ed was a '38 graduate and is the famed Haggar of Haggar Hall.
Russ Meyer: the original "adult film" producer, created such classics as "Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls" and "Vixens." Considered the maker of simple yet "lusty films" today, this guy single-handedly created the modern porn industry. I'll let you make your own judgments on that.
RIP, one and all.
Wow. Another Celebrity Death Trio has just paid the toll on the Turnpike To Tomorrow. But this time it's a set of two--which in the mortuary business is technically known as an "exacta." Or maybe that's horse racing. Anyway, it's not a record, but certainly a milestone--as opposed to say, a tombstone. Six people in just over a week. It just doesn't happen that often.
We should note that it's been an especially difficult week for the fashion industry, as you'll see below. So light a candle, or perhaps throw together an evening ensemble with a sassy yet sensible scarf, for all those memorialized below, each of whom is now doing the eternal strut down the Creator's Catwalk.
Herewith, the departed.
Richard Avedon: photographer whose black and white shots redefined contemporary photography. Did everything from politics and fashionistas to rock stars and migrant farm workers. Whether you know it or not, you've seen his photos for most of your life.
Geoffrey Beene: Noted fashion designer who was uniquely American with a French flair. Not that we'd know, but we do have an old dress shirt designed by him.
Scott Muni: On-air personality famous for the last five decades as a major rock and roll DJ. Know as Scotto, he was one of the first to put the Beatles on the radio, and his show inspired "Dog Day Afternoon." You'd recognize his voice anywhere; he also did the "How do you spell relief" commercials for Rolaids.
Marvin Davis: Media mogul and oil bazillionaire who once owned 20th Century Fox, as well as Pebble Beach. Wonder if he took it with him . . .
Ed Haggar: The guy who made sans-a-belt pants a nationwide phenomenon. You all had Haggar slacks for your proms. Admit it. Special trivia note: for all you Notre Damers out there, and there are more here than I'd like to admit, Ed was a '38 graduate and is the famed Haggar of Haggar Hall.
Russ Meyer: the original "adult film" producer, created such classics as "Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls" and "Vixens." Considered the maker of simple yet "lusty films" today, this guy single-handedly created the modern porn industry. I'll let you make your own judgments on that.
RIP, one and all.
Purgatory Punk
September 20, 2004 10:21 PM
Dear CDT Subscribers,
Didn't stay away too long this time, did we? You hardly had time to miss us. But you did a little, didn't you? Come on. Admit it.
This week we have a brand new Celebrity Death Trio, culled (literally) from across the wide array of possible celebrity careers. In fact, we haven't seen this diverse a crowd since Bill Clinton and the Secret Service went out for soul food in Harlem. So without further ado, say goodbye to the latest winners of the Sacred Sleepers Sweepstakes . . .
Herewith, the departed.
Johnny Ramone: Guitarist and co-founder of American punk icons the Ramones. He was the "smart" one of the group (there wasn't a lot of competition), and was also the third original member to die in the last three years. Gabba gabba hey.
Eddie Adams: few knew his name, but everybody knows his photographs. Especially the one of the Communist guerilla getting shot point-blank in the head during the Vietnam War. It was one of the definitive photographs from the era--if not the definitive one.
Marvin Mitchelson: famous celebrity divorce lawyer who coined the term "palimony." He was involved in some of the biggest divorce cases of all time--a dubious distinction, indeed--but perhaps he should have spent some time with tax law. He spent two years in the slammer and went bankrupt for cheating on his taxes after making oodles (or scads) of cash off his clients. But maybe he can do some pro bono work and help out some of his new friends in The Great Beyond.
RIP, one and all.
Didn't stay away too long this time, did we? You hardly had time to miss us. But you did a little, didn't you? Come on. Admit it.
This week we have a brand new Celebrity Death Trio, culled (literally) from across the wide array of possible celebrity careers. In fact, we haven't seen this diverse a crowd since Bill Clinton and the Secret Service went out for soul food in Harlem. So without further ado, say goodbye to the latest winners of the Sacred Sleepers Sweepstakes . . .
Herewith, the departed.
Johnny Ramone: Guitarist and co-founder of American punk icons the Ramones. He was the "smart" one of the group (there wasn't a lot of competition), and was also the third original member to die in the last three years. Gabba gabba hey.
Eddie Adams: few knew his name, but everybody knows his photographs. Especially the one of the Communist guerilla getting shot point-blank in the head during the Vietnam War. It was one of the definitive photographs from the era--if not the definitive one.
Marvin Mitchelson: famous celebrity divorce lawyer who coined the term "palimony." He was involved in some of the biggest divorce cases of all time--a dubious distinction, indeed--but perhaps he should have spent some time with tax law. He spent two years in the slammer and went bankrupt for cheating on his taxes after making oodles (or scads) of cash off his clients. But maybe he can do some pro bono work and help out some of his new friends in The Great Beyond.
RIP, one and all.
Buried Under All This Paperwork
August 13, 2004 03:33 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
The drought is over.
After a year where the biggest names in entertainment hogged the media obituary pages all to themselves (yes, that means YOU, Marlon Brando . . . and you, too, Isabel "Weezie Jefferson" Sanford), we've finally seen deaths return to normal. As far as we're concerned, normal is good.
And what a return. We've had two trios in the last two weeks (okay, the CDT was a little behind on paperwork from the week before). So we actually have two sets of three celebrities who decided to hitchhike one last ride on the highway to heaven.
Here then, in order, are the latest celebs to belly up to the bar at St. Peter & Paul's Perpetual Pub:
Week 1
Francis Crick - remarkable scientist who (with partner James Watson) discovered the structure of DNA, the molecule that holds the key to life. No irony in this death, eh?
Henri Cartier-Bresson - one of the most famous and influential photographers ever, who took pictures of some of the most crucial events of the 20th century. Although we're guessing one photo he didn't take was his obit picture.
Rick James - Mr. Super Freak. That says it all. Bee-yotch.
Week 2
Fay Wray - Superscreamer actress who tamed King Kong's heart ("twas beauty killed the beast"). Plus, she was louder than a 747 with stripped gears.
Red Adair - the man who became famous for putting out oil well fires all over the world; not the easiest job around. John Wayne played him in the movies, and he may well have had the coolest nickname in history: "Hellfighter."
Julia Child - Before Emeril, before Paul Prudhomme, before even Martha Stewart, there was PBS' "The French Chef," Julia Childs. You all saw her when you were a kid, and you all tried to imitate that accent. Come on, admit it. She once said her idea of the ultimate meal was "Red meat and a bottle of gin." Boy, we would have liked to party with her.
RIP, one and all.
The drought is over.
After a year where the biggest names in entertainment hogged the media obituary pages all to themselves (yes, that means YOU, Marlon Brando . . . and you, too, Isabel "Weezie Jefferson" Sanford), we've finally seen deaths return to normal. As far as we're concerned, normal is good.
And what a return. We've had two trios in the last two weeks (okay, the CDT was a little behind on paperwork from the week before). So we actually have two sets of three celebrities who decided to hitchhike one last ride on the highway to heaven.
Here then, in order, are the latest celebs to belly up to the bar at St. Peter & Paul's Perpetual Pub:
Week 1
Francis Crick - remarkable scientist who (with partner James Watson) discovered the structure of DNA, the molecule that holds the key to life. No irony in this death, eh?
Henri Cartier-Bresson - one of the most famous and influential photographers ever, who took pictures of some of the most crucial events of the 20th century. Although we're guessing one photo he didn't take was his obit picture.
Rick James - Mr. Super Freak. That says it all. Bee-yotch.
Week 2
Fay Wray - Superscreamer actress who tamed King Kong's heart ("twas beauty killed the beast"). Plus, she was louder than a 747 with stripped gears.
Red Adair - the man who became famous for putting out oil well fires all over the world; not the easiest job around. John Wayne played him in the movies, and he may well have had the coolest nickname in history: "Hellfighter."
Julia Child - Before Emeril, before Paul Prudhomme, before even Martha Stewart, there was PBS' "The French Chef," Julia Childs. You all saw her when you were a kid, and you all tried to imitate that accent. Come on, admit it. She once said her idea of the ultimate meal was "Red meat and a bottle of gin." Boy, we would have liked to party with her.
RIP, one and all.
Remember Begins With "R"
June 12, 2004 12:11 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
Yes, we know . . .
It's been many months since the last installment of the Celebrity Death Trio. And there's a reason for this: celebrities just haven't been dying. Simple as that.
This year has been a far cry from 2003, when we were swamped with high profile passings nearly every week--a year that even had a trifecta in one day. It was almost as if celebs were lining up to take the big dirtnap.
But we digress.
Many of you are new to this list in recent months, so this may be your first
missive from CDT Central. A point of reference, then. This list serves
merely as a reminder of our own mortality, and the fact that celebrities
usually choose to die in threes. No one is quite sure why--it may be a
Screen Actor's Guild by-law, or it may be in their major league contracts,
or maybe PEOPLE magazine pays them upfront to keep this noble tradition
alive.
Regardless, it happens. A lot. And it often happens in the course of one
week. But this year, it appears that more celebs have opted to go to trial and
to rehab than to the mortuary. For some, they're avoiding the "death as a
career move" route, even though it's obvious that death would probably save
their careers (yes, we're talking to you Courtney Love--and you, too,
Michael Jackson).
However, the death drought--as it were--has been broken this week, and three
celebs are now knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. (FYI, we define a
celeb as somebody everyone has generally heard of, or knows the work of--or
should know the work of--and their obit has to be a feature in the New York
Times. We have standards, you know.)
This past week, it was an eclectic group of people who are now singin' with
St. Peter. They are:
Ronald Reagan: the Great Communicator, the Gipper, and Bonzo's bedtime
partner.
Ray Charles: blind singer and pianist who helped define soul, R&B, and even
rock and roll.
Robert Quine: pioneering punk guitarist and archivist.
Note that all their first names began with R. Coincidence? You be the judge.
They will all be missed, for one reason or another.
RIP, one and all.
Yes, we know . . .
It's been many months since the last installment of the Celebrity Death Trio. And there's a reason for this: celebrities just haven't been dying. Simple as that.
This year has been a far cry from 2003, when we were swamped with high profile passings nearly every week--a year that even had a trifecta in one day. It was almost as if celebs were lining up to take the big dirtnap.
But we digress.
Many of you are new to this list in recent months, so this may be your first
missive from CDT Central. A point of reference, then. This list serves
merely as a reminder of our own mortality, and the fact that celebrities
usually choose to die in threes. No one is quite sure why--it may be a
Screen Actor's Guild by-law, or it may be in their major league contracts,
or maybe PEOPLE magazine pays them upfront to keep this noble tradition
alive.
Regardless, it happens. A lot. And it often happens in the course of one
week. But this year, it appears that more celebs have opted to go to trial and
to rehab than to the mortuary. For some, they're avoiding the "death as a
career move" route, even though it's obvious that death would probably save
their careers (yes, we're talking to you Courtney Love--and you, too,
Michael Jackson).
However, the death drought--as it were--has been broken this week, and three
celebs are now knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. (FYI, we define a
celeb as somebody everyone has generally heard of, or knows the work of--or
should know the work of--and their obit has to be a feature in the New York
Times. We have standards, you know.)
This past week, it was an eclectic group of people who are now singin' with
St. Peter. They are:
Ronald Reagan: the Great Communicator, the Gipper, and Bonzo's bedtime
partner.
Ray Charles: blind singer and pianist who helped define soul, R&B, and even
rock and roll.
Robert Quine: pioneering punk guitarist and archivist.
Note that all their first names began with R. Coincidence? You be the judge.
They will all be missed, for one reason or another.
RIP, one and all.
Cadaver Kangaroo
January 27, 2004 01:50 PM
Dear CDT Reader,
After a very quiet holiday season, it seems as if celebrities are in a real hurry to make up for lost time. Maybe they're trying to get into heaven (or hell) before the next snowstorm, or before they get this cruddy flu. Still, it was a week to remember for three celebs who just won the "Life's Over Lotto:"
Herewith, the departed.
Ann Miller: hoofer, actress, long-time Hollywood icon.
Helmut Newton: photographer who revolutionized fashion photos and adverts. He'd made it to 83, but didn't make it all the way across the street in the car he was driving.
Bob Keeshan: the immortal Captain Kangaroo. If anybody deserves to have a monument built in his image, it's the Cap'n. Good role model and a witty man.
RIP, one and all.
After a very quiet holiday season, it seems as if celebrities are in a real hurry to make up for lost time. Maybe they're trying to get into heaven (or hell) before the next snowstorm, or before they get this cruddy flu. Still, it was a week to remember for three celebs who just won the "Life's Over Lotto:"
Herewith, the departed.
Ann Miller: hoofer, actress, long-time Hollywood icon.
Helmut Newton: photographer who revolutionized fashion photos and adverts. He'd made it to 83, but didn't make it all the way across the street in the car he was driving.
Bob Keeshan: the immortal Captain Kangaroo. If anybody deserves to have a monument built in his image, it's the Cap'n. Good role model and a witty man.
RIP, one and all.