2009
Is It Soup Yet?
October 23, 2009 09:49 AM
Dear
CDT™ Reader,
It brings a smile to our faces here at the Celebrity Death Trio™ when we see that celebs are living to ripe old ages. These days, that means just about anything older than 50. After a summer of Baby Boomer icons taking their sleigh ride to Satan, the fact that some classic octo- and nonagenarians are able to bring their game to the table - or to the slab - is heart-warming. And heart stopping.
It's all Hollywood in this edition of the CDT™, especially the golden era of TV. So go find a black and white Zenith or Magnavox television set, adjust the rabbit ears, and hoist a glass in praise of those days when everything in the world really was as simple as black or white.
Herewith, the departed.
• Soupy Sales
Comedian. 83. One of the first comedians to bring slapstick to television, Sales had a huge TV show in the 1950s, one that inexorably led to him getting hit in the face with a pie. Born Milton Supman, Sales was a natural performer who was in the right place at the right time when radio and TV were looking for programming six decades ago. He became a radio DJ in the early 1950s and then the host of a kids' show in Detroit. There he started a format-which we will politely refer to as "zany"-that predated Captain Kangaroo and Pee Wee Herman. Guests would come in and receive a pie in the face-including people like Frank Sinatra, who begged to be on the show. Sales himself claims that he went through more than 20,000 pies. Soupy was considered a cultural subversive as the 1960s dawned and college students and adults became fans of the show. He became infamous for once telling kids across America to take "the green paper" from their mommies' purses and send it to him. That little stunt got him kicked off the air-but only for a week. Sales later went on to become a daily staple of the "What's My Line?" game show and appeared on Broadway and in films up through the 1990s. Now he's gone to that final pie in the sky.
• Vic Mizzy
Composer. 93. Vic wrote a TV theme that made him a rich man. It goes something like this: "They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky, they're all together ooky . . ." Yes, Vic was the composer-and the singer-of the theme to "The Addams Family" TV show. And it is ironic that we're just a week away from Halloween and talking about the theme song that refuses to die. You know it the minute you hear the opening "bah duh bah bump," followed by the memorable and oh-so-droll, SNAP SNAPs. But Vic was no one-hit wonder. His pop songs were recorded by the likes of Dean Martin, Doris Day, and Perry Como. He composed the score to Don Knotts' classic comedies "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken," "The Shakiest Gun in the West," and "The Love God?" and contributed music to "Spider-Man 2." He also wrote the theme to "Green Acres," which in our opinion is as memorable as "The Addams Family." And you know what? Darling, we love you, but give us Park Avenue.
• Joseph Wiseman
Actor. 91. Though he appeared in dozens of films - including "The Apprenticeship Of Duddy Kravitz," "Viva Zapata!" and "The Valachi Papers" - and every TV show you can imagine from "The Twilight Zone" and "Magnum P.I." to "Macgyver," Wiseman is best known for a single role. He played Dr. No in the 1962 James Bond movie of the same name. "Dr. No" was the first Bond flick starring Sean Connery, and playing the title character gave Wiseman the distinction of being the first Bond villain to appear on screen. While he couldn't parlay it into a leading man film career, it did lead to more than 70 TV show appearances, which by any measure is one of the most impressive runs the CDT has seen in a long time. Apparently, Wiseman said "yes" more often than he said "no."
RIP, one and all.
It brings a smile to our faces here at the Celebrity Death Trio™ when we see that celebs are living to ripe old ages. These days, that means just about anything older than 50. After a summer of Baby Boomer icons taking their sleigh ride to Satan, the fact that some classic octo- and nonagenarians are able to bring their game to the table - or to the slab - is heart-warming. And heart stopping.
It's all Hollywood in this edition of the CDT™, especially the golden era of TV. So go find a black and white Zenith or Magnavox television set, adjust the rabbit ears, and hoist a glass in praise of those days when everything in the world really was as simple as black or white.
Herewith, the departed.
• Soupy Sales
Comedian. 83. One of the first comedians to bring slapstick to television, Sales had a huge TV show in the 1950s, one that inexorably led to him getting hit in the face with a pie. Born Milton Supman, Sales was a natural performer who was in the right place at the right time when radio and TV were looking for programming six decades ago. He became a radio DJ in the early 1950s and then the host of a kids' show in Detroit. There he started a format-which we will politely refer to as "zany"-that predated Captain Kangaroo and Pee Wee Herman. Guests would come in and receive a pie in the face-including people like Frank Sinatra, who begged to be on the show. Sales himself claims that he went through more than 20,000 pies. Soupy was considered a cultural subversive as the 1960s dawned and college students and adults became fans of the show. He became infamous for once telling kids across America to take "the green paper" from their mommies' purses and send it to him. That little stunt got him kicked off the air-but only for a week. Sales later went on to become a daily staple of the "What's My Line?" game show and appeared on Broadway and in films up through the 1990s. Now he's gone to that final pie in the sky.
• Vic Mizzy
Composer. 93. Vic wrote a TV theme that made him a rich man. It goes something like this: "They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky, they're all together ooky . . ." Yes, Vic was the composer-and the singer-of the theme to "The Addams Family" TV show. And it is ironic that we're just a week away from Halloween and talking about the theme song that refuses to die. You know it the minute you hear the opening "bah duh bah bump," followed by the memorable and oh-so-droll, SNAP SNAPs. But Vic was no one-hit wonder. His pop songs were recorded by the likes of Dean Martin, Doris Day, and Perry Como. He composed the score to Don Knotts' classic comedies "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken," "The Shakiest Gun in the West," and "The Love God?" and contributed music to "Spider-Man 2." He also wrote the theme to "Green Acres," which in our opinion is as memorable as "The Addams Family." And you know what? Darling, we love you, but give us Park Avenue.
• Joseph Wiseman
Actor. 91. Though he appeared in dozens of films - including "The Apprenticeship Of Duddy Kravitz," "Viva Zapata!" and "The Valachi Papers" - and every TV show you can imagine from "The Twilight Zone" and "Magnum P.I." to "Macgyver," Wiseman is best known for a single role. He played Dr. No in the 1962 James Bond movie of the same name. "Dr. No" was the first Bond flick starring Sean Connery, and playing the title character gave Wiseman the distinction of being the first Bond villain to appear on screen. While he couldn't parlay it into a leading man film career, it did lead to more than 70 TV show appearances, which by any measure is one of the most impressive runs the CDT has seen in a long time. Apparently, Wiseman said "yes" more often than he said "no."
RIP, one and all.
Summer Shutdown
September 18, 2009 02:31 PM
Dear
CDT™ Reader,
Summer is technically not over until next week, but that hasn't stopped the chill of autumn from crawling into the bones of another three celebrities. It has been a summer of Celebrity Death Trios like no other, and just keeping up with the Morbid March to the Eternal Exit has required that we put our staff on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Apparently, the Grim Reaper doesn't keep bankers' hours, and neither do we.
This week the Hollywood morgue was putting in extra hours of its own as all our slab-ready celebs were entertainers. Note that we said "entertainers." That's different from being "entertaining," and we leave you to figure out the nuance of that particular distinction. We've got a singer who has left on her last jet plane, a dirty dancer who's now dancing in his own grave, and a Laugh-In staple who's had his last laugh. The fact that all of this week's formerly famous died of cancer is a reminder that this is a disease that really should have been cured by now.
Herewith, the departed.
• Patrick Swayze
Actor. 57. Swayze's fight with pancreatic cancer during the last year reminded a lot of people that the actor had some high points in a career that seemed to be on B-Movie autopilot. He was quite good in "Red Dawn," "Donnie Darko," and "Ghost," Sure, there were clunkers ("Tiger Warsaw," "Black Dog," and yes, cult favorite "Road House" sucked), but Swayze never devolved to, say, David Hasselhoff status. His famed dancing and gymnastic skills were acquired as a lad hanging out in his mother's dancing school, and those skills landed him roles as both a dancer and a martial artist. He dropped off the radar for a while in the late 80s to do some serious rehab. After that, he began a long road back to fame that culminated in his new TV show, "The Beast."
• Mary Travers
Singer. 72. One third of the pioneering folk trio of Peter, Paul, and Mary, Travers was forever linked to her cohorts in song and in history. As the first commercially popular folk/protest singers of the 1960s, the bearded Peter Yarrow and Paul Stookey and the willowy blond Travers were the faces and sound of the coffeehouse generation. They smoothed off the edges of Bob Dylan with their rendition of "Blowin' In The Wind," made a star of John Denver by recording his "Leaving On A Jet Plane" (and yes, we've forgiven them for that), and created one of the world's most conspiracy-laden children's songs with "Puff The Magic Dragon." The group broke up in 1970, but reunited regularly over the past three decades to perform for various political and charitable causes. Without Mary, though, any future reunions will sound like a Mounds candy bar.
• Henry Gibson
Actor. 73. Noted for his little poems on "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" variety show, Gibson was a man who played a variety of quirky supporting roles in movies and TV during a long career career. Younger readers will recognize him as Judge Clark Brown on "Boston Legal," while film fans will remember him from "Nashville," "Wedding Crashers," "The Long Goodbye," "Innerspace," "Magnolia," and "The Blues Brothers." Gibson, born James Bateman, appeared in almost every sitcom that aired in the 1960s and 70s, from "F Troop" and "Bewitched" to "Love, American Style." A very underrated actor, Gibson could switch easily from meek Southern gentleman to crotchety old man, and always did it with a twinkle in his eye.
RIP, one and all.
Summer is technically not over until next week, but that hasn't stopped the chill of autumn from crawling into the bones of another three celebrities. It has been a summer of Celebrity Death Trios like no other, and just keeping up with the Morbid March to the Eternal Exit has required that we put our staff on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Apparently, the Grim Reaper doesn't keep bankers' hours, and neither do we.
This week the Hollywood morgue was putting in extra hours of its own as all our slab-ready celebs were entertainers. Note that we said "entertainers." That's different from being "entertaining," and we leave you to figure out the nuance of that particular distinction. We've got a singer who has left on her last jet plane, a dirty dancer who's now dancing in his own grave, and a Laugh-In staple who's had his last laugh. The fact that all of this week's formerly famous died of cancer is a reminder that this is a disease that really should have been cured by now.
Herewith, the departed.
• Patrick Swayze
Actor. 57. Swayze's fight with pancreatic cancer during the last year reminded a lot of people that the actor had some high points in a career that seemed to be on B-Movie autopilot. He was quite good in "Red Dawn," "Donnie Darko," and "Ghost," Sure, there were clunkers ("Tiger Warsaw," "Black Dog," and yes, cult favorite "Road House" sucked), but Swayze never devolved to, say, David Hasselhoff status. His famed dancing and gymnastic skills were acquired as a lad hanging out in his mother's dancing school, and those skills landed him roles as both a dancer and a martial artist. He dropped off the radar for a while in the late 80s to do some serious rehab. After that, he began a long road back to fame that culminated in his new TV show, "The Beast."
• Mary Travers
Singer. 72. One third of the pioneering folk trio of Peter, Paul, and Mary, Travers was forever linked to her cohorts in song and in history. As the first commercially popular folk/protest singers of the 1960s, the bearded Peter Yarrow and Paul Stookey and the willowy blond Travers were the faces and sound of the coffeehouse generation. They smoothed off the edges of Bob Dylan with their rendition of "Blowin' In The Wind," made a star of John Denver by recording his "Leaving On A Jet Plane" (and yes, we've forgiven them for that), and created one of the world's most conspiracy-laden children's songs with "Puff The Magic Dragon." The group broke up in 1970, but reunited regularly over the past three decades to perform for various political and charitable causes. Without Mary, though, any future reunions will sound like a Mounds candy bar.
• Henry Gibson
Actor. 73. Noted for his little poems on "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" variety show, Gibson was a man who played a variety of quirky supporting roles in movies and TV during a long career career. Younger readers will recognize him as Judge Clark Brown on "Boston Legal," while film fans will remember him from "Nashville," "Wedding Crashers," "The Long Goodbye," "Innerspace," "Magnolia," and "The Blues Brothers." Gibson, born James Bateman, appeared in almost every sitcom that aired in the 1960s and 70s, from "F Troop" and "Bewitched" to "Love, American Style." A very underrated actor, Gibson could switch easily from meek Southern gentleman to crotchety old man, and always did it with a twinkle in his eye.
RIP, one and all.
Better Off Ted
August 28, 2009 02:18 AM
Dear CDT™ Reader,
Helter skelter, in a summer swelter . . . That's what it's been like here at the CDT for the past three months. Lots of sweating and very little time for the beach - all because people are feeling better about the economy, and celebs are feeling better about dying in threes. In fact, they appear to be hurriedly following each other up to St. Peter's Paradise Bar, as you'll see below.
As an indication of how busy it's been at the CDT Worldwide Headquarters, here's something that doesn't happen often. As we were getting ready to send out this week's CDT, look what we found on our intern's desk: LAST WEEK'S CDT! Apparently our little scamp of an intern never got around to sending that one out before heading back to Oxford to study metaphysics. Seriously, it's so hard to get good help these days.
But Oxford's curse is good news for you, because you get to end your week with a CDT two-fer. Talk about an unexpected summertime treat. It's like finding that your raspberry-and-acai smoothie also contains a special ingredient. Like a diamond tiara. Or a shot of vodka. Or a trip to Costa Rica. Or whatever else gets you through the summer.
So think of this installment of the CDT as a mini-daycation in one easy-to-read package. Our gift to you, no charge.
Herewith, the departed.
• Edward Kennedy
Politician. 77. What can be said about Teddy that hasn't been said elsewhere, except that he was the only Kennedy boy not to be killed by another human being. But then, Ted never was like his brothers. He was kicked out of Harvard for cheating, killed a woman in a drunken car accident, and had his marriage of 24 years annulled by the Catholic Church. Those facts aside, Kennedy has been one the most effective legislators in the history of the Senate (not to mention having the third longest tenure ever). His push for civil rights, including rights for the disabled, resulted in landmark laws. His involvement in healthcare, education, and fair wages has never wavered. Some historians have already said that he'll have a better political legacy than either of his brothers. In a final Kennedy family twist, Ted's sister Eunice Shriver died just two weeks ago, and was a featured performer in our Ladies First CDT.
• Stanley Kaplan
Educator. 90. You might not know the Stanley part of his name, but if you've ever had a brush with higher education, you certainly know the Kaplan part. Kaplan Test Prep & Admissions, known as Kap Test, is ubiquitous in the world of education testing. Stanley started the business in 1946 by tutoring college students out of his Brooklyn basement. Soon, he had kids lining up outside his door to learn his test-taking secrets. Once Kaplan started offering classes in other cities, the College Board - those fun folks who annually scare the crap out of students with their PSAT and SAT tests - claimed that his courses didn't help test takers. The College Board made that claim right up until 1979, when the Federal Trade Commission found that taking Kaplan courses helped improve scores. After that, Kaplan's business went through the roof, and he became a very rich man. Fun fact: the Kaplan company is now worth $2.3 billion, and is the biggest part of the Washington Post company (including the newspaper and Newsweek magazine).
• Dominick Dunne
Writer. 83. Beginning his career in Hollywood as a film producer, Dunne ultimately made a bigger splash as a novelist and writer for Vanity Fair. His specialty was true crime, a pursuit that arose in the wake of the murder of his 22-year old daughter. He left filmmaking behind and became a fixture at many of the most salacious and celebrity-studded trials of the past three decades. Dominick wrote about O.J. Simpson, Claus Von Bulow, Phil Spector, the Menendez Brothers, and Michael Skakel and William Kennedy Smith (the latter two defendants part of the storied Kennedy clan, with William's trial including accusations of binge drinking with now-dead uncle Teddy, above). His movies included "Panic In Needle Park" and "Boys In The Band," while his best-known novel was "An Inconvenient Truth." Dunne's family actually waited a day to announce his death so as not to have it obscured by Teddy's death.
And now, last week's CDT, delivered straight from our former intern's desktop . . .
• Les Paul
Legendary guitarist. 94. As a youngster, Lester Polfuss was quite the tinkerer. He grew into a popular jazz guitarist and, with wife Mary Ford, had one of the earliest live TV shows . . . broadcast from their home. But his real achievement was in creating the first solid body electric guitar, which changed the face of popular music. He also invented multi-track recording, which allowed for different parts of a song to be recorded at different times (previously, all songs had to be recorded live and in one take). Les was playing shows in New York City every Monday night right up until a few weeks ago. That, dear friends, is staying power. Go read our exclusive interview with Les (conducted before he died) over at the CDT's sister site, The National GUITAR Museum: http://www.nationalguitarmuseum.com/page9/page9.html
• Don Hewitt
"60 Minutes" creator and producer. 86. One of the last reputable places to get real news, "60 Minutes" was hatched in Hewitt's brain 41 years ago. His invention, now a staple of television, was the TV newsmagazine - what Hewitt figured a broadcast version of LIFE magazine should be like. Prior to that, he had worked for Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite (inducted into the CDT just last month!), establishing his credentials in news before launching "60 Minutes." Yet he admitted that by merging news with entertainment that he might have ultimately ruined TV news. The format allowed shows to blur the line between gossipy Hollywood-style tabloid reporting and serious news journalism. Thanks to Don, we don't know who to believe anymore.
• Robert Novak
Political reporter. 78. Renowned for his white hair, black eyebrows, aggressive personality, and now the brain tumor that killed him (Hey! just like Ted Kennedy), Novak was the essential Washington political journalist. Best described as "pugnacious," he was an insider who wrote about the denizens of D.C. for four decades in a column syndicated in 300 papers. He later became a featured face on politico porn shows like "The McLaughlin Group" and "Crossfire." He got into trouble for revealing CIA agent Valerie Plame's name in his column - yet he was never in danger of being punished for it. Ah, the power of the press.
RIP, one and all.
Helter skelter, in a summer swelter . . . That's what it's been like here at the CDT for the past three months. Lots of sweating and very little time for the beach - all because people are feeling better about the economy, and celebs are feeling better about dying in threes. In fact, they appear to be hurriedly following each other up to St. Peter's Paradise Bar, as you'll see below.
As an indication of how busy it's been at the CDT Worldwide Headquarters, here's something that doesn't happen often. As we were getting ready to send out this week's CDT, look what we found on our intern's desk: LAST WEEK'S CDT! Apparently our little scamp of an intern never got around to sending that one out before heading back to Oxford to study metaphysics. Seriously, it's so hard to get good help these days.
But Oxford's curse is good news for you, because you get to end your week with a CDT two-fer. Talk about an unexpected summertime treat. It's like finding that your raspberry-and-acai smoothie also contains a special ingredient. Like a diamond tiara. Or a shot of vodka. Or a trip to Costa Rica. Or whatever else gets you through the summer.
So think of this installment of the CDT as a mini-daycation in one easy-to-read package. Our gift to you, no charge.
Herewith, the departed.
• Edward Kennedy
Politician. 77. What can be said about Teddy that hasn't been said elsewhere, except that he was the only Kennedy boy not to be killed by another human being. But then, Ted never was like his brothers. He was kicked out of Harvard for cheating, killed a woman in a drunken car accident, and had his marriage of 24 years annulled by the Catholic Church. Those facts aside, Kennedy has been one the most effective legislators in the history of the Senate (not to mention having the third longest tenure ever). His push for civil rights, including rights for the disabled, resulted in landmark laws. His involvement in healthcare, education, and fair wages has never wavered. Some historians have already said that he'll have a better political legacy than either of his brothers. In a final Kennedy family twist, Ted's sister Eunice Shriver died just two weeks ago, and was a featured performer in our Ladies First CDT.
• Stanley Kaplan
Educator. 90. You might not know the Stanley part of his name, but if you've ever had a brush with higher education, you certainly know the Kaplan part. Kaplan Test Prep & Admissions, known as Kap Test, is ubiquitous in the world of education testing. Stanley started the business in 1946 by tutoring college students out of his Brooklyn basement. Soon, he had kids lining up outside his door to learn his test-taking secrets. Once Kaplan started offering classes in other cities, the College Board - those fun folks who annually scare the crap out of students with their PSAT and SAT tests - claimed that his courses didn't help test takers. The College Board made that claim right up until 1979, when the Federal Trade Commission found that taking Kaplan courses helped improve scores. After that, Kaplan's business went through the roof, and he became a very rich man. Fun fact: the Kaplan company is now worth $2.3 billion, and is the biggest part of the Washington Post company (including the newspaper and Newsweek magazine).
• Dominick Dunne
Writer. 83. Beginning his career in Hollywood as a film producer, Dunne ultimately made a bigger splash as a novelist and writer for Vanity Fair. His specialty was true crime, a pursuit that arose in the wake of the murder of his 22-year old daughter. He left filmmaking behind and became a fixture at many of the most salacious and celebrity-studded trials of the past three decades. Dominick wrote about O.J. Simpson, Claus Von Bulow, Phil Spector, the Menendez Brothers, and Michael Skakel and William Kennedy Smith (the latter two defendants part of the storied Kennedy clan, with William's trial including accusations of binge drinking with now-dead uncle Teddy, above). His movies included "Panic In Needle Park" and "Boys In The Band," while his best-known novel was "An Inconvenient Truth." Dunne's family actually waited a day to announce his death so as not to have it obscured by Teddy's death.
And now, last week's CDT, delivered straight from our former intern's desktop . . .
• Les Paul
Legendary guitarist. 94. As a youngster, Lester Polfuss was quite the tinkerer. He grew into a popular jazz guitarist and, with wife Mary Ford, had one of the earliest live TV shows . . . broadcast from their home. But his real achievement was in creating the first solid body electric guitar, which changed the face of popular music. He also invented multi-track recording, which allowed for different parts of a song to be recorded at different times (previously, all songs had to be recorded live and in one take). Les was playing shows in New York City every Monday night right up until a few weeks ago. That, dear friends, is staying power. Go read our exclusive interview with Les (conducted before he died) over at the CDT's sister site, The National GUITAR Museum: http://www.nationalguitarmuseum.com/page9/page9.html
• Don Hewitt
"60 Minutes" creator and producer. 86. One of the last reputable places to get real news, "60 Minutes" was hatched in Hewitt's brain 41 years ago. His invention, now a staple of television, was the TV newsmagazine - what Hewitt figured a broadcast version of LIFE magazine should be like. Prior to that, he had worked for Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite (inducted into the CDT just last month!), establishing his credentials in news before launching "60 Minutes." Yet he admitted that by merging news with entertainment that he might have ultimately ruined TV news. The format allowed shows to blur the line between gossipy Hollywood-style tabloid reporting and serious news journalism. Thanks to Don, we don't know who to believe anymore.
• Robert Novak
Political reporter. 78. Renowned for his white hair, black eyebrows, aggressive personality, and now the brain tumor that killed him (Hey! just like Ted Kennedy), Novak was the essential Washington political journalist. Best described as "pugnacious," he was an insider who wrote about the denizens of D.C. for four decades in a column syndicated in 300 papers. He later became a featured face on politico porn shows like "The McLaughlin Group" and "Crossfire." He got into trouble for revealing CIA agent Valerie Plame's name in his column - yet he was never in danger of being punished for it. Ah, the power of the press.
RIP, one and all.
Ladies First
August 11, 2009 06:06 AM
Dear CDT™ Subscriber,
If you're a dead celeb, this has been a really busy summer. If you're in the business of reporting on dead celebs, this summer has been busier than Bill Clinton explaining to Hillary what he was doing last week with two Asian chicks in a private jet - alone - over North Korea. But we digress.
Here's how busy it's been: Here at the Celebrity Death Trio™ World Headquarters, we're still digging out from the whole Michael Jackson megadeath. In fact, with his lawyers, family, ex-wives, and advisors piling on his legacy, the only person not digging out from the aftermath of Jackson's death is Michael himself. And that's because he's six feet under, and that's way too much digging to expect of a dead 50-year old. Unless it was 50-year old ex-pitchman Billy Mays, who according to the coroner's report this week was doing a lot of shoveling - most of it up his nose.
But we digress again. Let's fast-track this, shall we? Herewith, the departed.
• Eunice Kennedy Shriver
Social reformer and famous sister. 88. Eunice was the sister of political powerhouses John, Robert, and Teddy, and the most socially active member of the Kennedy clan. Unlike her siblings, she skipped elected office and went straight into social work from college, ultimately developing programs for the mentally retarded (based in part on her experience with sister Rosemarie, who was secretly lobotomized in 1941). After creating a camp for kids, Eunice founded the Special Olympics, an event that helped yank the stigma of mental handicaps right out of the closet. While that is her greatest legacy, many knew her best as the mother of talking head Maria Shriver, which also made her Arnold Schwarzenegger's mother-in-law. That makes for an interesting family tree, to say the least. With Eunice's death, the only surviving members of the original nine-sibling Kennedy Dynasty are brother Teddy and sister Jean Kennedy Smith.
• Corazon Aquino
Former president of the Philippines. 76. Most of us forget that Cory was a breath of fresh democratic air in a country previously ruled over by the famed power couple of Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos. Imelda had her collection of 5000 pairs of shoes; Aquino had a simple yellow dress and a sincere desire to fix the Philippines. After her politically active husband was assassinated, allegedly by the weasel-like Ferdinand, Cory found popular support amid the revulsion over the country's corrupt leaders. Marcos was forced to flee the country, and Aquino was voted in as president in 1986, going on to serve for the next six years. During her tenure she re-established the elected Parliament and an independent judiciary. Although there were several plots to overthrow her, she hung on tenaciously. It appears that the colon cancer she contracted last year was the only thing that could bring her down.
• John Hughes
Film writer and director. 59. The man who-for better, and sometimes worse-gave us those smarmy teen actors known as The Brat Pack, died of a heart attack in New York. It almost seems pointless to point out how much influence this guy had on movies in the 1980s, but we'll do it for the historical record. He either wrote and/or directed the following flicks: “The Breakfast Club,” “Sixteen Candles,” “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles,” “Ferris Bueller's Day Off,” “Home Alone,” “Pretty In Pink,” “National Lampoon's Vacation,” and about a dozen others. That is one hell of a lot of teen angst. Admit it, though . . . now that you've seen this list, you just flashed back to your entire post-adolescent life, didn't you?
RIP, one and all.
If you're a dead celeb, this has been a really busy summer. If you're in the business of reporting on dead celebs, this summer has been busier than Bill Clinton explaining to Hillary what he was doing last week with two Asian chicks in a private jet - alone - over North Korea. But we digress.
Here's how busy it's been: Here at the Celebrity Death Trio™ World Headquarters, we're still digging out from the whole Michael Jackson megadeath. In fact, with his lawyers, family, ex-wives, and advisors piling on his legacy, the only person not digging out from the aftermath of Jackson's death is Michael himself. And that's because he's six feet under, and that's way too much digging to expect of a dead 50-year old. Unless it was 50-year old ex-pitchman Billy Mays, who according to the coroner's report this week was doing a lot of shoveling - most of it up his nose.
But we digress again. Let's fast-track this, shall we? Herewith, the departed.
• Eunice Kennedy Shriver
Social reformer and famous sister. 88. Eunice was the sister of political powerhouses John, Robert, and Teddy, and the most socially active member of the Kennedy clan. Unlike her siblings, she skipped elected office and went straight into social work from college, ultimately developing programs for the mentally retarded (based in part on her experience with sister Rosemarie, who was secretly lobotomized in 1941). After creating a camp for kids, Eunice founded the Special Olympics, an event that helped yank the stigma of mental handicaps right out of the closet. While that is her greatest legacy, many knew her best as the mother of talking head Maria Shriver, which also made her Arnold Schwarzenegger's mother-in-law. That makes for an interesting family tree, to say the least. With Eunice's death, the only surviving members of the original nine-sibling Kennedy Dynasty are brother Teddy and sister Jean Kennedy Smith.
• Corazon Aquino
Former president of the Philippines. 76. Most of us forget that Cory was a breath of fresh democratic air in a country previously ruled over by the famed power couple of Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos. Imelda had her collection of 5000 pairs of shoes; Aquino had a simple yellow dress and a sincere desire to fix the Philippines. After her politically active husband was assassinated, allegedly by the weasel-like Ferdinand, Cory found popular support amid the revulsion over the country's corrupt leaders. Marcos was forced to flee the country, and Aquino was voted in as president in 1986, going on to serve for the next six years. During her tenure she re-established the elected Parliament and an independent judiciary. Although there were several plots to overthrow her, she hung on tenaciously. It appears that the colon cancer she contracted last year was the only thing that could bring her down.
• John Hughes
Film writer and director. 59. The man who-for better, and sometimes worse-gave us those smarmy teen actors known as The Brat Pack, died of a heart attack in New York. It almost seems pointless to point out how much influence this guy had on movies in the 1980s, but we'll do it for the historical record. He either wrote and/or directed the following flicks: “The Breakfast Club,” “Sixteen Candles,” “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles,” “Ferris Bueller's Day Off,” “Home Alone,” “Pretty In Pink,” “National Lampoon's Vacation,” and about a dozen others. That is one hell of a lot of teen angst. Admit it, though . . . now that you've seen this list, you just flashed back to your entire post-adolescent life, didn't you?
RIP, one and all.
Interspecies Internment
July 17, 2009 04:44 PM
Dear CDT™ Reader,
A quickie, but worth every morsel.
Herewith, the departed.
• Walter Cronkite: Uncle Walter was once America's most trusted newsman, the person who told Americans what they needed to know. Who do we have today? Friggin' Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly. The devolution of journalism, indeed.
• Frank McCourt: popular writer and teacher who found late-in-life fame with the novel “Angela's Ashes.” No word on the sequel, “Frank's Ashes.”
• Gidget: 15-year old Taco Bell spokesmammal and world-famous Chihuahua. Yes, the CDT has gone to the dogs.
RIP, one and all.
A quickie, but worth every morsel.
Herewith, the departed.
• Walter Cronkite: Uncle Walter was once America's most trusted newsman, the person who told Americans what they needed to know. Who do we have today? Friggin' Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly. The devolution of journalism, indeed.
• Frank McCourt: popular writer and teacher who found late-in-life fame with the novel “Angela's Ashes.” No word on the sequel, “Frank's Ashes.”
• Gidget: 15-year old Taco Bell spokesmammal and world-famous Chihuahua. Yes, the CDT has gone to the dogs.
RIP, one and all.
McDead
July 08, 2009 08:34 AM
Dear CDT™ Reader,
A very special McDeath issue of the CDT™, with the focus on the unique elements of these three celebs' family names.
Herewith, the departed.
• Robert McNamara: 93. Secretary of Defense during the 1960s, one of the architects of the Vietnam War. Later on, he admitted that being in the war was “wrong, terribly wrong.” But by that time, it was just a little too late.
• Steve McNair: 36. American football player who played for the Tennessee Titans and the Baltimore Ravens, shot to death. Used to be that players worried about getting hurt on the field; these days, gunshots seem to be a bigger problem for the NFL.
• Waldo McBurney: 106. American beekeeper and--formerly--the oldest worker in the United States. Quite honestly, this guy is our hero; he worked up until his death and published an autobiography in 2004 called “My First 100 Years.”
Of these three McDeaths, only McNair was McMurdered.
RIP, one and all.
A very special McDeath issue of the CDT™, with the focus on the unique elements of these three celebs' family names.
Herewith, the departed.
• Robert McNamara: 93. Secretary of Defense during the 1960s, one of the architects of the Vietnam War. Later on, he admitted that being in the war was “wrong, terribly wrong.” But by that time, it was just a little too late.
• Steve McNair: 36. American football player who played for the Tennessee Titans and the Baltimore Ravens, shot to death. Used to be that players worried about getting hurt on the field; these days, gunshots seem to be a bigger problem for the NFL.
• Waldo McBurney: 106. American beekeeper and--formerly--the oldest worker in the United States. Quite honestly, this guy is our hero; he worked up until his death and published an autobiography in 2004 called “My First 100 Years.”
Of these three McDeaths, only McNair was McMurdered.
RIP, one and all.
Pearly Gate Crashers
July 03, 2009 12:29 AM
Dear CDT™ Reader,
"No rest for the wicked," they say. Or is it "no rest for the weary?" Either way, the denizens here at the Celebrity Death Trio™ World Headquarters were halfway out the door for the 4th of July when yet another terminal triumvirate blew up our vacation plans like the fireworks finale at Disneyland.
We were ready to chalk it up to some hangers-on or wannabes. But no, these were legitimate Pearly Gate-crashers. And here they are, in a small, holiday-sized CDT serving, perfect for picnics or the beach . . . two places you'll never see this trio ever again.
Herewith, the departed.
• Karl Malden
Actor. 97. Most of us remember Karl-he of the unusually bulbous proboscis-as the pitchman for American Express ("don't leave home without it") and the good actor on "Streets Of San Francisco" (yeah, we're talking about you, Michael Douglas). But Malden was a veritable film and theater icon, winning awards for his roles in "On The Waterfront" and "Streetcar Named Desire" where he more than held his own against Marlon Brando. Karl went peacefully at the age of 97, which is definitely the way we'd like to go if we're given the option.
• Billy Mays
Pitchman. 50. You won't have Billy screaming at you from your TV set anymore, which means you probably won't buy stuff you never really needed in the first place. Mays' infomercials and over-the-top product sales translated into big bucks for the companies that hired him. People just liked buying the stuff he sold. We can't figure it out, but then again, we don't buy stuff off the TV at 3 in the morning. He's going to have to be autopsied because no one's quite sure how he died, although it's rumored to have been from a head bump he sustained during an airplane landing . . . "But wait! There's more!" . . . No there's not. Just kidding. Billy's dead, and there's no special offer if you act now.
• Fred Travalena
Impressionist. 66. Fred was one of the last of the great 1960s-era impressionists (after Frank Gorshin and Rich Little). He was the guy who showed up on every talk show, game show, and Dean Martin roast in the 70s imitating presidents, other celebs, and sports heroes. After 30 years on TV he settled into a successful career in Las Vegas, where he's been for the last couple of decades. Weird fact: he was a guest on the debut episode of Farrah Fawcett's barely-there sitcom, "Good Sports," and he was a repeat guest on "The Tonight Show." We're guessing that Fred missed Ed McMahon and Farrah so much that he decided to join last week's purgatory patrons in their march to the hereafter. Of course, his non-Hodgkin's lymphoma might have had something to do with it as well.
RIP, one and all.
"No rest for the wicked," they say. Or is it "no rest for the weary?" Either way, the denizens here at the Celebrity Death Trio™ World Headquarters were halfway out the door for the 4th of July when yet another terminal triumvirate blew up our vacation plans like the fireworks finale at Disneyland.
We were ready to chalk it up to some hangers-on or wannabes. But no, these were legitimate Pearly Gate-crashers. And here they are, in a small, holiday-sized CDT serving, perfect for picnics or the beach . . . two places you'll never see this trio ever again.
Herewith, the departed.
• Karl Malden
Actor. 97. Most of us remember Karl-he of the unusually bulbous proboscis-as the pitchman for American Express ("don't leave home without it") and the good actor on "Streets Of San Francisco" (yeah, we're talking about you, Michael Douglas). But Malden was a veritable film and theater icon, winning awards for his roles in "On The Waterfront" and "Streetcar Named Desire" where he more than held his own against Marlon Brando. Karl went peacefully at the age of 97, which is definitely the way we'd like to go if we're given the option.
• Billy Mays
Pitchman. 50. You won't have Billy screaming at you from your TV set anymore, which means you probably won't buy stuff you never really needed in the first place. Mays' infomercials and over-the-top product sales translated into big bucks for the companies that hired him. People just liked buying the stuff he sold. We can't figure it out, but then again, we don't buy stuff off the TV at 3 in the morning. He's going to have to be autopsied because no one's quite sure how he died, although it's rumored to have been from a head bump he sustained during an airplane landing . . . "But wait! There's more!" . . . No there's not. Just kidding. Billy's dead, and there's no special offer if you act now.
• Fred Travalena
Impressionist. 66. Fred was one of the last of the great 1960s-era impressionists (after Frank Gorshin and Rich Little). He was the guy who showed up on every talk show, game show, and Dean Martin roast in the 70s imitating presidents, other celebs, and sports heroes. After 30 years on TV he settled into a successful career in Las Vegas, where he's been for the last couple of decades. Weird fact: he was a guest on the debut episode of Farrah Fawcett's barely-there sitcom, "Good Sports," and he was a repeat guest on "The Tonight Show." We're guessing that Fred missed Ed McMahon and Farrah so much that he decided to join last week's purgatory patrons in their march to the hereafter. Of course, his non-Hodgkin's lymphoma might have had something to do with it as well.
RIP, one and all.
OMG CDT!
June 27, 2009 12:01 AM
Dear CDT™ Reader,
There's nothing like waking up to a toasty-hot, sunshiny-bright, freshly baked, wholesome slab of the Celebrity Death Trio™ first thing in the morning.
But waking up to today's edition is like having the most delicious breakfast ever. Really. Even we are in awe of the sheer star power of this installment of the CDT™.
It's one of those occasions where we wonder if we're really up to the task, whether we have the mettle to do justice to these ex-celebs who have bought the farm and sold their souls in order to pay the piper. Because this may be the most star-studded set of dirtnaps in the history of the CDT™. Oh sure, some of you are shaking your heads, thinking "What about the 'Band On The Run-way' entry for Lynyrd Skynyrd back in October 1977? Or the '24-Hour Trifecta' of Janet Leigh, Rodney Dangerfield, and astronaut Gordon Cooper on October 6, 2004?"
Okay, those were classics; we'll admit it. But this week put more high-profile celestial bodies into the ground than a badly planned NASA launch. These are the kind of celebs that get to cut straight to the front of the line for St. Pete's Meet & Greet. Hell, they don't even need invitations. They just need to show up.
And they did. All of them. In a casket.
Herewith, the departed.
• Ed McMahon
Second banana and pitchman. 86. It's hard to be the best sidekick ever, especially since sidekicks can never get top billing. But Big Ed turned a sidekick gig into one of the great TV careers of all time. From 1962 to 1992 he played second fiddle to Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show" . . . and he allegedly got paid $5 million a year for it. Not bad for a former Marine Corps fighter pilot and TV clown. In addition to laughing at all of Johnny's jokes, Ed hosted Star Search and numerous game shows, co-hosted both "TV Bloopers and Practical Jokes" and the Jerry Lewis Telethons, and did commercials for everything from Budweiser and Alpo to American Family Publishers sweepstakes. Ed's later years were marked by the kind of jokes he might have laughed at on The Tonight Show: he kept injuring himself in bizarre ways (falls, household mold, botched surgeries) and he lost his fortune on bad investments, making the potential foreclosure of his mansion a running national gag. Ed had recently been hospitalized for a number of ailments, although it's believed he died from bone cancer.
• Farrah Fawcett
Actress. 62. We'll skip the jokes about how she's now a real angel. (After all, she probably has to stop in Purgatory first, right?) Farrah defined big-haired blond California sex appeal like no other woman before or since. The famous poster of her in a red bathing suit is reportedly the biggest selling wall and mattress ornament in history, selling more than 12 million copies. Because of her one-year stint on "Charlie's Angels," her brief marriage to "Six Million Dollar Man" star Lee Majors, and a series of pathetically bad movies, most of us forget that she could really act, with stellar performances in "The Burning Bed" and "The Apostle." Admittedly, she got pretty wiggy in recent years. An appearance on the Letterman show left people wondering if there was anything solid between her ears. Then when she contracted a rare form of cancer that few people had ever heard of, let alone would say out loud (yes, it was anal cancer), Farrah turned her illness into an end-of-life reality show. Her longtime significant other, Ryan O'Neal - no stranger to weirdness himself - asked Farrah to marry him just over a week ago. Due to his bad timing, or hers, the marriage never took place. And her return to the spotlight, albeit post-mortem, couldn't have been timed any worse, either, since she died only hours before our next celeb, namely . . .
• Michael Jackson
Musician. 50. Where to start with this one? As doctors try to figure out why he went into cardiac arrest, we look back and remember Wacko Jacko as being the butt of more pedophile jokes than the Catholic Coalition of Priests. But let's put that behind us, shall we? and think only of the Michael who was a truly great entertainer . . . before the skin peels, Neverland Ranch, the nose jobs, the marriage to Lisa Marie Presley, Bubbles the Chimp, the hyperbaric chamber, the stupid glove, the surrogate mother/kids, the pre-teen sleepovers, and the near-bankruptcy. Think instead of the Jackson 5 and "ABC," "I'll Be There," and "Dancing Machine." Think of the biggest selling album of all time, "Thriller." Think of the Moonwalk, the defining dance move of the '80s. Think of "Ben," "Billy Jean," and "Beat It." Think of Michael duping Paul McCartney out of ownership rights to The Beatles' best songs. That's the Michael Jackson the world mourns for. But you know, we think there may be some cosmic-level karma at work here: when Michael idiotically proclaimed himself the "King Of Pop," he probably didn't realize it would refer to the sound his aorta would make during his last moment on Earth.
RIP, one and all.
Hanging Around
June 12, 2009 04:35 AM
Dear CDT Reader,
There was a decidedly 1970's theme this week at the Celebrity Death Trio. Not in a happy Partridge Family way; more in an uneasy "trapped in a time machine" way. Just thinking about what was going on in hotel rooms over in Thailand left us all tied up in knots. In fact, 70's legend David "Hung Fu" Carradine threatened to be his own CDT, given the number of different ways he allegedly died.
But we're all about facts here at the CDT, and we don't like to get all hung up on speculation, or roped into one theory or another. We just want to make sure that every celebrity gets to pass through the velvet rope that marks the entrance to Heaven, or nirvana, or the Forever After Fern Bar & Grill (designed, coincidentally, by one of this week's dead celebrities). So take a deep breath, raise your glass, and toast our swingin' celebs while they're hanging out at the bar.
Herewith, the departed.
• David Carradine
Actor. 72. Beloved as the character Kwai Chang Caine (don't you just love saying that out loud?), Carradine's work on the TV show "Kung Fu" made him a pop culture icon for decades. That wasn't easy, given that his dad was the iconic John Carradine, a veteran of horror movies and Westerns, and his two brothers were both in the biz. A good actor who chose questionable roles in over 100 movies (except for playing Woodie Guthrie in "Bound For Glory"), Carradine turned his martial arts shtick into a career resuscitating role in the sleek gorefest that was "Kill Bill, Parts1 and 2." His life was apparently on the upswing as new roles headed his way, but autoerotic asphyxiation choked the life out of any further theatrical endeavors. RIP, Grasshopper . . . it was a knotty way to go.
• Norman Brinker
Restaurateur. 78. You didn't know his name, but the CDT would bet the entire stimulus package that you ate his food. Brinker invented the concepts, for better or worse, of 1) casual dining with serve yourself salad bars, and 2) the fern bar, that place that made happy hours for singles so appealing during our post-college days (oh yeah, you spent a lot of time in those, didn't you?). Brinker began by creating Steak & Ale in the 1960s, and when he sold that, he created Bennigans. Not content to stop there, he went on to build Chili's into the national standard for sanitized Mexican food. By the time he left the business, he owned over 1000 restaurants. Married four times, Brinker was a polo fanatic and was on the 1952 U.S. Olympic equestrian team. You'd think someone with his taste in restaurants and food would be an unmarried accountant who lived at home with his mom. Go figure.
• Kenny Rankin
Musician. 69. Unlike Norman Brinker, above, you knew Kenny's name, but probably can't name a single song he sang or wrote. We'll help you out. He wrote the hit "Peaceful" for Helen Reddy, played guitar in Bob Dylan's band, and was asked by Paul McCartney to induct him into the Songwriter's Hall of Fame. Rankin was a staple of The Tonight Show for decades, appearing more than two dozen times, and - ironically - his biggest hits came when he was covering other people's songs, like The Beatles' "Blackbird." His career peaked in the 1970s, but he continued to record everything from jazz albums to pop songs right up until his death from lung cancer. So now you know what he did, but don't sit around waiting for his next album.
BTW, we can't help but mention that three other minor celebs died this past week, each with a playful name that caught our eye and gave us momentary pause. We'd be remiss in not mentioning them here:
Koko Taylor: legendary blues singer
Omar Bongo: president of Gabon
Pete Townshend: British economics guru (and not the leader of The Who)
RIP, one and all.
There was a decidedly 1970's theme this week at the Celebrity Death Trio. Not in a happy Partridge Family way; more in an uneasy "trapped in a time machine" way. Just thinking about what was going on in hotel rooms over in Thailand left us all tied up in knots. In fact, 70's legend David "Hung Fu" Carradine threatened to be his own CDT, given the number of different ways he allegedly died.
But we're all about facts here at the CDT, and we don't like to get all hung up on speculation, or roped into one theory or another. We just want to make sure that every celebrity gets to pass through the velvet rope that marks the entrance to Heaven, or nirvana, or the Forever After Fern Bar & Grill (designed, coincidentally, by one of this week's dead celebrities). So take a deep breath, raise your glass, and toast our swingin' celebs while they're hanging out at the bar.
Herewith, the departed.
• David Carradine
Actor. 72. Beloved as the character Kwai Chang Caine (don't you just love saying that out loud?), Carradine's work on the TV show "Kung Fu" made him a pop culture icon for decades. That wasn't easy, given that his dad was the iconic John Carradine, a veteran of horror movies and Westerns, and his two brothers were both in the biz. A good actor who chose questionable roles in over 100 movies (except for playing Woodie Guthrie in "Bound For Glory"), Carradine turned his martial arts shtick into a career resuscitating role in the sleek gorefest that was "Kill Bill, Parts1 and 2." His life was apparently on the upswing as new roles headed his way, but autoerotic asphyxiation choked the life out of any further theatrical endeavors. RIP, Grasshopper . . . it was a knotty way to go.
• Norman Brinker
Restaurateur. 78. You didn't know his name, but the CDT would bet the entire stimulus package that you ate his food. Brinker invented the concepts, for better or worse, of 1) casual dining with serve yourself salad bars, and 2) the fern bar, that place that made happy hours for singles so appealing during our post-college days (oh yeah, you spent a lot of time in those, didn't you?). Brinker began by creating Steak & Ale in the 1960s, and when he sold that, he created Bennigans. Not content to stop there, he went on to build Chili's into the national standard for sanitized Mexican food. By the time he left the business, he owned over 1000 restaurants. Married four times, Brinker was a polo fanatic and was on the 1952 U.S. Olympic equestrian team. You'd think someone with his taste in restaurants and food would be an unmarried accountant who lived at home with his mom. Go figure.
• Kenny Rankin
Musician. 69. Unlike Norman Brinker, above, you knew Kenny's name, but probably can't name a single song he sang or wrote. We'll help you out. He wrote the hit "Peaceful" for Helen Reddy, played guitar in Bob Dylan's band, and was asked by Paul McCartney to induct him into the Songwriter's Hall of Fame. Rankin was a staple of The Tonight Show for decades, appearing more than two dozen times, and - ironically - his biggest hits came when he was covering other people's songs, like The Beatles' "Blackbird." His career peaked in the 1970s, but he continued to record everything from jazz albums to pop songs right up until his death from lung cancer. So now you know what he did, but don't sit around waiting for his next album.
BTW, we can't help but mention that three other minor celebs died this past week, each with a playful name that caught our eye and gave us momentary pause. We'd be remiss in not mentioning them here:
Koko Taylor: legendary blues singer
Omar Bongo: president of Gabon
Pete Townshend: British economics guru (and not the leader of The Who)
RIP, one and all.
Dom. Dom, Dom, Dom. DOM.
May 15, 2009 11:11 PM
Dear CDT™ Reader,
The economy is really getting back into the groove quickly, isn’t it? Jeez, warm up the weather and the world goes out shopping for just about everything. Including caskets.
One week ago we were lamenting the thin pickings here the Celebrity Death Trio™ World Headquarters during the past few months. Truth be told, we were operating with a skeleton crew that would make Chrysler envious. But no sooner had we hit the “send” button on last week’s CDT™ than a new trio marched up to the Pearly Gates, demanding entrance and perhaps something to eat. All of a sudden, we ended up with two guys named Dom and two sports legends. Really, what are the chances of that happening? You have better odds of getting your money back from Bernie Madoff. And he’s not even dead, although he should be.
Herewith, the departed.
• Dom DeLuise
Actor. 75. DeLuise was a large, funny man with a scruffy beard and more than a bit of camp to his style. Although he got his start in the 1960s on TV, his career was defined exclusively by over-the-top film comedies. Dom was a favorite of director Mel Brooks (appearing in “The 12 Chairs,” “Blazing Saddles, “Silent Movie,” “Spaceballs,” among others) and a friend of Burt Reynolds, with whom he co-starred in “Smokey & The Bandit II,” “Cannonball Run,” and “The End.” His portly shape, always topped with a silly white beret, was the result of a love affair with food that ultimately resulted in DeLuise penning several cookbooks. Although his comedy was of the slapstick variety, he was often confused with more serious fellow actor and gastronome James Coco (CDT Class of 1987). Now that they’re both dead, it’s going to be even tougher to tell them apart.
• Dom DiMaggio
Baseball player. 92. It’s hard living in the shadow of a sibling who gets all the credit and all the fame. Just ask each of Alec Baldwin’s brothers. But Dominic DiMaggio was a baseball legend in his own right. Playing for the Boston Red Sox – the avowed enemies of the Yankees, led by older brother Joe (CDT Class of 1999) – “The Little Professor” was a seven-time All Star, batted over .300 in four seasons, and led the American League twice in runs scored. Dom served in the Navy for three years during World War II, an interruption in his career that many said kept him from the Hall of Fame, a major oversight since his defensive abilities were considered to be superior to Joltin’ Joe’s. Still ranked as one of the greatest players to ever don a Red Sox uniform, his departure now provides an answer to that unasked Simon & Garfunkel question: “Where have you gone, Dom DiMaggio?”
• Chuck Daly
Basketball coach. 78. Daly is revered among b-ball fans not only for leading the Detroit Pistons to back-to-back championships in 1989 and 1990, but for coaching the 1992 “Dream Team” to victory in the Olympics. He was respected in both college and pro circles as a coach who could get notoriously difficult players – like Dennis Rodman, Isaiah Thomas, and former Notre Damer Bill Laimbeer -- to work together for the good of the team. While still working, he was inducted into the Basketball Hall Of Fame in 1994, and went on to coach the New Jersey Nets and Orlando Magic. He died from pancreatic cancer, which is what Patrick Swayze and Steve Jobs are currently battling. Hopefully, they’ll have a better win/loss record than Chuck had in this particular competition.
RIP, one and all.
The economy is really getting back into the groove quickly, isn’t it? Jeez, warm up the weather and the world goes out shopping for just about everything. Including caskets.
One week ago we were lamenting the thin pickings here the Celebrity Death Trio™ World Headquarters during the past few months. Truth be told, we were operating with a skeleton crew that would make Chrysler envious. But no sooner had we hit the “send” button on last week’s CDT™ than a new trio marched up to the Pearly Gates, demanding entrance and perhaps something to eat. All of a sudden, we ended up with two guys named Dom and two sports legends. Really, what are the chances of that happening? You have better odds of getting your money back from Bernie Madoff. And he’s not even dead, although he should be.
Herewith, the departed.
• Dom DeLuise
Actor. 75. DeLuise was a large, funny man with a scruffy beard and more than a bit of camp to his style. Although he got his start in the 1960s on TV, his career was defined exclusively by over-the-top film comedies. Dom was a favorite of director Mel Brooks (appearing in “The 12 Chairs,” “Blazing Saddles, “Silent Movie,” “Spaceballs,” among others) and a friend of Burt Reynolds, with whom he co-starred in “Smokey & The Bandit II,” “Cannonball Run,” and “The End.” His portly shape, always topped with a silly white beret, was the result of a love affair with food that ultimately resulted in DeLuise penning several cookbooks. Although his comedy was of the slapstick variety, he was often confused with more serious fellow actor and gastronome James Coco (CDT Class of 1987). Now that they’re both dead, it’s going to be even tougher to tell them apart.
• Dom DiMaggio
Baseball player. 92. It’s hard living in the shadow of a sibling who gets all the credit and all the fame. Just ask each of Alec Baldwin’s brothers. But Dominic DiMaggio was a baseball legend in his own right. Playing for the Boston Red Sox – the avowed enemies of the Yankees, led by older brother Joe (CDT Class of 1999) – “The Little Professor” was a seven-time All Star, batted over .300 in four seasons, and led the American League twice in runs scored. Dom served in the Navy for three years during World War II, an interruption in his career that many said kept him from the Hall of Fame, a major oversight since his defensive abilities were considered to be superior to Joltin’ Joe’s. Still ranked as one of the greatest players to ever don a Red Sox uniform, his departure now provides an answer to that unasked Simon & Garfunkel question: “Where have you gone, Dom DiMaggio?”
• Chuck Daly
Basketball coach. 78. Daly is revered among b-ball fans not only for leading the Detroit Pistons to back-to-back championships in 1989 and 1990, but for coaching the 1992 “Dream Team” to victory in the Olympics. He was respected in both college and pro circles as a coach who could get notoriously difficult players – like Dennis Rodman, Isaiah Thomas, and former Notre Damer Bill Laimbeer -- to work together for the good of the team. While still working, he was inducted into the Basketball Hall Of Fame in 1994, and went on to coach the New Jersey Nets and Orlando Magic. He died from pancreatic cancer, which is what Patrick Swayze and Steve Jobs are currently battling. Hopefully, they’ll have a better win/loss record than Chuck had in this particular competition.
RIP, one and all.
Loosen That Deathgrip
May 05, 2009 05:55 AM
Dear CDT™ Reader,
As the recession lightens its white-knuckle grip on the economy, so too are celebrities unlocking their deathgrip on staying alive. This is good new for the Celebrity Death Trio™, which is starting to feel like the long winter of everyone's discontent is over. Plus, if celebrities started living forever, we'd confuse them with brain dead zombies, walking the earth with no regard for the living. Wait a minute, come to think of it . . .
Nonetheless, the CDT is happy to be back on the case. Or on the slab, as it were.
Herewith, the departed.
• Jack Kemp
Politician and football star. 73. Kemp was one of those guys who seemed to be everywhere on Capitol Hill once he got elected. Prior to heading to the Beltway, he was an all-star quarterback for the San Diego Chargers and Buffalo Bills in the 1960s. His fame helped him get elected as Buffalo's congressman, which he followed up with a stint as secretary of housing and urban development for George HW Bush. He unsuccessfully tried to run for President in 1988, and was Bob Dole's running mate in 1996. While many claimed that Kemp was a GOP favorite due to his John F. Kennedy-esque looks (not to mention the initials attached to Jack French Kemp), he was actually a savvy and progressive politician who took the lead on tax cuts and trying to get the Republican Party to expand its ethnic base beyond entitled whites.
• Bea Arthur
Actress. 86. Arthur was a sitcom staple during a time not so long ago when sitcoms were more popular than reality shows. She was the title character in "Maude," a 1972 spin-off of "All In The Family" that was one of the first TV shows to embrace the feminist movement and address topics such as abortion and infidelity. She then parlayed her graying years into "The Golden Girls," a sitcom that traded the allure of pert young breasts for jokes about menopause and growing old. Bea was a big woman with a deep voice, and was the butt of more "manly" jokes than Arnold Schwarzenegger, but she handled it in grand style and caustic wit. Her 11 Emmy nominations, and two wins, coupled with her numerous Broadway roles, ensured that she was twice the man that most of her detractors were.
• Hans Holzer
Ghost hunter. 89. Holzer was perhaps the world's most famous ghost hunter, writing hundreds of books about haunted houses, the supernatural, aliens, witches, and the afterlife . . . all those things that we live for here at CDT™ headquarters. He studied religion and parapsychology in London before visiting haunted places around the world in search of ghosts. His biggest break came as an investigator into the events that occurred at a little house in Amityville, New York. He spent time summoning spirits in that house, and claimed that its horrors stemmed from the misfortune of being built on an Indian burial ground. Holzer took great relish in his work, stating that "a ghost is only a fellow human being in trouble." We've got to admit, this is one of those deaths where it's like the celeb is actually getting to keep his day job.
RIP, one and all.
As the recession lightens its white-knuckle grip on the economy, so too are celebrities unlocking their deathgrip on staying alive. This is good new for the Celebrity Death Trio™, which is starting to feel like the long winter of everyone's discontent is over. Plus, if celebrities started living forever, we'd confuse them with brain dead zombies, walking the earth with no regard for the living. Wait a minute, come to think of it . . .
Nonetheless, the CDT is happy to be back on the case. Or on the slab, as it were.
Herewith, the departed.
• Jack Kemp
Politician and football star. 73. Kemp was one of those guys who seemed to be everywhere on Capitol Hill once he got elected. Prior to heading to the Beltway, he was an all-star quarterback for the San Diego Chargers and Buffalo Bills in the 1960s. His fame helped him get elected as Buffalo's congressman, which he followed up with a stint as secretary of housing and urban development for George HW Bush. He unsuccessfully tried to run for President in 1988, and was Bob Dole's running mate in 1996. While many claimed that Kemp was a GOP favorite due to his John F. Kennedy-esque looks (not to mention the initials attached to Jack French Kemp), he was actually a savvy and progressive politician who took the lead on tax cuts and trying to get the Republican Party to expand its ethnic base beyond entitled whites.
• Bea Arthur
Actress. 86. Arthur was a sitcom staple during a time not so long ago when sitcoms were more popular than reality shows. She was the title character in "Maude," a 1972 spin-off of "All In The Family" that was one of the first TV shows to embrace the feminist movement and address topics such as abortion and infidelity. She then parlayed her graying years into "The Golden Girls," a sitcom that traded the allure of pert young breasts for jokes about menopause and growing old. Bea was a big woman with a deep voice, and was the butt of more "manly" jokes than Arnold Schwarzenegger, but she handled it in grand style and caustic wit. Her 11 Emmy nominations, and two wins, coupled with her numerous Broadway roles, ensured that she was twice the man that most of her detractors were.
• Hans Holzer
Ghost hunter. 89. Holzer was perhaps the world's most famous ghost hunter, writing hundreds of books about haunted houses, the supernatural, aliens, witches, and the afterlife . . . all those things that we live for here at CDT™ headquarters. He studied religion and parapsychology in London before visiting haunted places around the world in search of ghosts. His biggest break came as an investigator into the events that occurred at a little house in Amityville, New York. He spent time summoning spirits in that house, and claimed that its horrors stemmed from the misfortune of being built on an Indian burial ground. Holzer took great relish in his work, stating that "a ghost is only a fellow human being in trouble." We've got to admit, this is one of those deaths where it's like the celeb is actually getting to keep his day job.
RIP, one and all.
Downhill Racing
March 19, 2009 12:05 AM
Dear
CDT™ Reader,
We've been getting emails left and right about whether the absence of a regular Celebrity Death Trio™ lately means that we've given up the ghost in these difficult times. Sure, it's a ghastly economy, and maintaining our world headquarters high atop a New York skyscraper, with bureaus in 27 cities and a full-time research staff of over 300 people--all traveling on the CDT corporate jet--would make the CDT™ appear ripe for some bloodletting. But we're still here, alive and kicking. The fact is that it's not the CDT™ that has cut back; it's the celebrities themselves. Like everyone else, they want to see if the economy has stabilized before they make any bold moves. Like dying.
But as signs have emerged that the economy isn't disappearing into a black hole, some of those celebs have decided that it's time to get back in the game. Or cash in their chips and get out of the game, as the case may be. And as is so often true when the going gets rough, it's the denizens of Hollywood who are making the headlines this week, helping to brighten up the otherwise skull-crushing news coverage of corporate fraud, incestuous Austrian fathers, and political bickering--you know, really depressing things.
It's nice that we get a brief respite from all the gloom thanks to our terminal troika, who have ceased worrying about their 401ks or whether AIG executives should be boiled alive. Instead, they're partying at the après-life lodge in Purgatory (not the Colorado ski resort, but the Heavenly Halfway House). So raise your glass and toast the passing of three thespians who are helping with the recovery. Or at least the CDT's recovery. For that, we're eternally grateful.
Herewith, the departed.
• Natasha Richardson
Actress. 45. The star of movies like The Parent Trap, The Handmaids Tale, Nell, and dozens of theatrical productions, Richardson was a beloved actress who was born into the fabled Redgrave acting clan (her mother is Vanessa Redgrave). Attractive and immediately recognizable, she won a Tony in 1998 for her role in Cabaret and was married to fellow actor Liam Neeson. Her sad and untimely death came after a freak accident when a blood vessel in her brain ruptured while taking skiing lessons on a bunny hill in Montreal. We're guessing she and Sonny Bono will have a lot to talk about.
• Ron Silver
Actor. 62. Silver was one of those actors whose name and face you knew--the scruffy beard was a dead giveaway-but you couldn't always think of what you'd seen him in. Here's a list: Wiseguys, Veronica's Closet, Rhoda, West Wing, Ali, Timecop, and Reversal Of Fortune, to name a few. Silver was a well-known political activist and had his own radio talk show. Once a die-hard liberal, he became a registered Republican after September 11th. In retrospect, that wasn't the best of times to be joining the GOP.
• Altovise Davis
Famous wife and actress. 65. Altovise became a celebrity upon marrying Sammy Davis, Jr. to whom she was married for 20 presumably very unusual years. Sammy was at the height of his career when they wed, and his wife got to be famous right along with him. The two were regulars on the game show Tattletales, and Altovise even managed to get some minor roles in straight-to-landfill flicks. She became a noted philanthropist but had a problem managing her money--last year she was listed among the top delinquent taxpayers in California, owing over $2.7 million. She's certainly not worrying about that one anymore.
RIP, one and all.
We've been getting emails left and right about whether the absence of a regular Celebrity Death Trio™ lately means that we've given up the ghost in these difficult times. Sure, it's a ghastly economy, and maintaining our world headquarters high atop a New York skyscraper, with bureaus in 27 cities and a full-time research staff of over 300 people--all traveling on the CDT corporate jet--would make the CDT™ appear ripe for some bloodletting. But we're still here, alive and kicking. The fact is that it's not the CDT™ that has cut back; it's the celebrities themselves. Like everyone else, they want to see if the economy has stabilized before they make any bold moves. Like dying.
But as signs have emerged that the economy isn't disappearing into a black hole, some of those celebs have decided that it's time to get back in the game. Or cash in their chips and get out of the game, as the case may be. And as is so often true when the going gets rough, it's the denizens of Hollywood who are making the headlines this week, helping to brighten up the otherwise skull-crushing news coverage of corporate fraud, incestuous Austrian fathers, and political bickering--you know, really depressing things.
It's nice that we get a brief respite from all the gloom thanks to our terminal troika, who have ceased worrying about their 401ks or whether AIG executives should be boiled alive. Instead, they're partying at the après-life lodge in Purgatory (not the Colorado ski resort, but the Heavenly Halfway House). So raise your glass and toast the passing of three thespians who are helping with the recovery. Or at least the CDT's recovery. For that, we're eternally grateful.
Herewith, the departed.
• Natasha Richardson
Actress. 45. The star of movies like The Parent Trap, The Handmaids Tale, Nell, and dozens of theatrical productions, Richardson was a beloved actress who was born into the fabled Redgrave acting clan (her mother is Vanessa Redgrave). Attractive and immediately recognizable, she won a Tony in 1998 for her role in Cabaret and was married to fellow actor Liam Neeson. Her sad and untimely death came after a freak accident when a blood vessel in her brain ruptured while taking skiing lessons on a bunny hill in Montreal. We're guessing she and Sonny Bono will have a lot to talk about.
• Ron Silver
Actor. 62. Silver was one of those actors whose name and face you knew--the scruffy beard was a dead giveaway-but you couldn't always think of what you'd seen him in. Here's a list: Wiseguys, Veronica's Closet, Rhoda, West Wing, Ali, Timecop, and Reversal Of Fortune, to name a few. Silver was a well-known political activist and had his own radio talk show. Once a die-hard liberal, he became a registered Republican after September 11th. In retrospect, that wasn't the best of times to be joining the GOP.
• Altovise Davis
Famous wife and actress. 65. Altovise became a celebrity upon marrying Sammy Davis, Jr. to whom she was married for 20 presumably very unusual years. Sammy was at the height of his career when they wed, and his wife got to be famous right along with him. The two were regulars on the game show Tattletales, and Altovise even managed to get some minor roles in straight-to-landfill flicks. She became a noted philanthropist but had a problem managing her money--last year she was listed among the top delinquent taxpayers in California, owing over $2.7 million. She's certainly not worrying about that one anymore.
RIP, one and all.
Happy New Tears!
January 19, 2009 10:31 PM
Dear CDT™ Reader,
The New Year is off and running, especially if you’re a newly sworn-in President, but for a host of celebrities this New Year is already their last year. Yes, we’re talking about the latest installment of the Celebrity Death Trio™, which also happens to be the first entry of 2009. Not that this distinction is any consolation to the newest customers at St. Peter’s Purgatory Plots, but at least they can sleep soundly (and eternally) knowing they’ve started the year off with the kind of publicity that even money can’t buy.
From clean canvas to silver screen, we’ve got an impressive array of new members in the CDT, all of whom had a personal affect on popular culture. And while they won’t be participating in any of the Inaugural Balls, we hail them on their historic journey into the frozen ground (which is probably warmer than it is above ground, given the recent temperatures across the nation). Let’s hope they’re ultimately headed for someplace warm and tropical. Okay, not too warm, but at least balmy.
Herewith, the departed.
• Ricardo Montalban
Actor. 88. Whether you think of him as the mighty Kahn from “Star Trek,” the grandfather in “Spy Kids,” or the guy who was always belittling Tattoo on “Fantasy Island,” Ricardo was first and foremost a guy with an incredibly distinctive accent. Born in Mexico, Montalban appeared in nearly every TV series you can think of in the 1960s and '70s (The Virginian, Hawaii 5-O, Gunsmoke, Ironside, The Name of The Game, I Spy, Combat!, Dr. Kildare, and The Man From U.N.C.L.E., to name but a handful). Ricardo even pitched the Chrysler Corboba for years, lending his rolling “r”s and sonorous voice to selling a nearly-forgotten sedan. We’re hoping he’s buried in something lined with fine Corinthian leather.
• Patrick McGoohan
Actor. 80. McGoohan starred for years as the title character in “The Prisoner,” a pioneering TV series that combined a dose of “Secret Agent” (in which McGoohan also starred) with “The Twilight Zone.” For a time, he was the highest paid TV star in the UK, and his debonair appearance, suave demeanor, and clipped Irish brogue made him an elite figure on American screens, appearing in movies such as “Scanners,” “Ice Station Zebra,” and Disney’s “The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh.” Our favorite McGoohan film was “Silver Streak,” wherein Patrick literally lost his head trying to outwit Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. NOTE: Try not to confuse McGoohan with Patrick Macnee (“The Avengers”) or Darrin McGavin (“The Night Stalker”), CDT class of ‘08. We’ll even admit to having a tough time keeping them all straight.
• Andrew Wyeth
Painter. 91. Oft-maligned yet wildly popular, Wyeth’s stark paintings of wheat fields, forlorn houses, and barren beaches have become part of America’s iconography. His image of the paralyzed Christina sitting in golden fields (“Christina’s World”) made Wyeth a famous artist, but his peers felt that his sterile interpretation of nature displayed little other than technical ability. Born into a family with a pre-existing artistic legacy (his father was N.C. Wyeth), Andrew’s paintings were a reflection of mid-century America, complete with the harsh realities of fading farms and the flight from rural countrysides. Even though he painted life as being frequently grim, many argue that Wyeth’s work may have been the most popular and recognizable of any 20th century American artist.
RIP, one and all.
The New Year is off and running, especially if you’re a newly sworn-in President, but for a host of celebrities this New Year is already their last year. Yes, we’re talking about the latest installment of the Celebrity Death Trio™, which also happens to be the first entry of 2009. Not that this distinction is any consolation to the newest customers at St. Peter’s Purgatory Plots, but at least they can sleep soundly (and eternally) knowing they’ve started the year off with the kind of publicity that even money can’t buy.
From clean canvas to silver screen, we’ve got an impressive array of new members in the CDT, all of whom had a personal affect on popular culture. And while they won’t be participating in any of the Inaugural Balls, we hail them on their historic journey into the frozen ground (which is probably warmer than it is above ground, given the recent temperatures across the nation). Let’s hope they’re ultimately headed for someplace warm and tropical. Okay, not too warm, but at least balmy.
Herewith, the departed.
• Ricardo Montalban
Actor. 88. Whether you think of him as the mighty Kahn from “Star Trek,” the grandfather in “Spy Kids,” or the guy who was always belittling Tattoo on “Fantasy Island,” Ricardo was first and foremost a guy with an incredibly distinctive accent. Born in Mexico, Montalban appeared in nearly every TV series you can think of in the 1960s and '70s (The Virginian, Hawaii 5-O, Gunsmoke, Ironside, The Name of The Game, I Spy, Combat!, Dr. Kildare, and The Man From U.N.C.L.E., to name but a handful). Ricardo even pitched the Chrysler Corboba for years, lending his rolling “r”s and sonorous voice to selling a nearly-forgotten sedan. We’re hoping he’s buried in something lined with fine Corinthian leather.
• Patrick McGoohan
Actor. 80. McGoohan starred for years as the title character in “The Prisoner,” a pioneering TV series that combined a dose of “Secret Agent” (in which McGoohan also starred) with “The Twilight Zone.” For a time, he was the highest paid TV star in the UK, and his debonair appearance, suave demeanor, and clipped Irish brogue made him an elite figure on American screens, appearing in movies such as “Scanners,” “Ice Station Zebra,” and Disney’s “The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh.” Our favorite McGoohan film was “Silver Streak,” wherein Patrick literally lost his head trying to outwit Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. NOTE: Try not to confuse McGoohan with Patrick Macnee (“The Avengers”) or Darrin McGavin (“The Night Stalker”), CDT class of ‘08. We’ll even admit to having a tough time keeping them all straight.
• Andrew Wyeth
Painter. 91. Oft-maligned yet wildly popular, Wyeth’s stark paintings of wheat fields, forlorn houses, and barren beaches have become part of America’s iconography. His image of the paralyzed Christina sitting in golden fields (“Christina’s World”) made Wyeth a famous artist, but his peers felt that his sterile interpretation of nature displayed little other than technical ability. Born into a family with a pre-existing artistic legacy (his father was N.C. Wyeth), Andrew’s paintings were a reflection of mid-century America, complete with the harsh realities of fading farms and the flight from rural countrysides. Even though he painted life as being frequently grim, many argue that Wyeth’s work may have been the most popular and recognizable of any 20th century American artist.
RIP, one and all.